Feeling conflicted...

So, here I am, about to do some work from home and instead I'll blog about how conflicted I feel about my employer. Said employer shall remain nameless as I cannot afford to be "dooced" what with $18,000 in a home equity line of credit hanging over our heads.

My problem is that I work for an organization that is uber-feminist and is all about helping people make good decisions about their sexual health and whether and when to bring children into this world. In practice, my particular agency is the exact opposite. We do help the people we serve in the ways I mentioned above, but the company treats those of us who work there like shit. SHIT. Seriously. I think the fact that I wanted this job so badly makes it feel so much worse that we're treated with so little respect.

So, yeah, I realize that the world of work is hard and there isn't a single company out there that doesn't suffer from at least one of the following: assholes, bureaucracy, lack of leadership, lack of communitcation, etc. My agency happens to suffer from all of the above. And I'm not in a position to quit my job and take another. For one thing, I couldn't leave before executing the special events that are planned for the next couple of months. And I know my work is important. I like my job and hate the people who run the company. The job market here is total crap. For anyone following the news about Gm and Delph!, both of those companies have plants here and have already done massive lay-offs. I know autoworkers will hardly be competing for the same type of jobs I might look for but still.... But this job is taking a toll on my health and my well-being and affects my relationships with those around me. It's really unfortunate. To make matters worse, my agency is needed by the American public now more than ever. As the states continue to introduce and pass legislation infringing on a woman's right to privacy, the work we do become all the more important.

So what to do? The bright spot in all of this is that we're about to get a new executive director. The current one is retiring and I've been hearing some good things about the final candidates. I don't want to have to leave this job but if things don't get better soon, I'll have to start looking. Is it too much to ask for a job you enjoy with leadership you can trust and provides good health insurance benefits?