Smacked upside the head with Adulthood...

That's Adulthood with a big capital 'A.' And it's really not enough for me to be freaked out and overwhelmed by all of it, so I am going to share that feeling with you, my friends. First, let me say that it was a very positive experience and I am glad I did it. Second, the consultation was free and that was appreciated. But. Despite having been an official adult since the age of 18 (according to the government, not my state of mind)and thinking that I was doing pretty well as an independent person, a young professional, I got smacked upside the head with real Adulthood. Now, you might be thinking, "what is 'real' adulthood, anyway?" Oh, it's stuff like: here's a timeline of you, starting at the age of 26 and let's say you're going to live to be 95, and now let's plot your goals on this timeline. And then you get asked if you plan to have children and how many and when you think you might have them. What!?!? I have to think about this? Are you kidding me? I have to plot when "Kelly Jr." may come along? WTF?!? This is more reality than I am prepared to deal with at the moment.

But it gets worse. Much worse. I (and Michael, too since I dragged him along. Hey, it was free and we may as well take advantage of it), well, we start talking about goals like retirement at a decent age and graduate school for me and things like that, and that stuff was okay. But then S. (the advisor) starts asking things about what our individual life insurance policies are and short- and long-term disability benefits. Eeek! Right now, at this stage of my life, my life ins. is enough to cover my car/student loan debts with a little left over for my parents. But someday I plan to get married and start a family and owe a home, and then I'll be in trouble.

And then I think about Judy and how I could very easily have an accident while out walking the dog and my LT disability is only 60% of my pay (which is a huge cause for concern b/c working in non-profit, 100% of my pay only just keeps me in the black). And I don't have a savings account or a 403(b) or a TDA or any of that stuff that needs to be in place now for future retirement. So...it was a lot to think about. I'm still digesting it all, in fact.

Despite the anxiety attack I thought I might have sitting there and realizing that I have no assets and 2 big debts, it was a very good opportunity to start thinking about what I want out of life and how I'm going to get there. Most of the people that read this blog are well aware of the money issues my parents always seemed to have and I don't want that for myself or my children. And even though money problems weren't the only issues responsible for my parents' pending divorce, it was the one thing I can remember them arguing about time and again. I don't want that to be the case in my relationship with Michael (who, fortunately, grew up without these issues).

So...there it is. Adulthood. When did we get here? I don't really remember how I got here. Michael and I went to Fr!endly's last Saturday for dinner and I got a little nostalgic thinking of Fr!endly's after football/basketball games in high school and a time when our biggest concern was developing our plans for prom. Now I'm faced with developing plans for "Kelly Jr." and retirement...sigh... How did I get here?