All kinds of wrong...
This is me not studying for my final because 1.) I'm a procrastinator and 2.) this is still really bothering me.
On Monday, I'm sitting in chem lab and there are 2 groups of 4 students at each table. A girl, we'll call her Insensitive Asshole or IA for short, sitting in a group at the far end of the lab bench is talking about her work study job on campus. She was talking about how she has to index some papers that apparently list all of the HIV positive students on campus and she was lamenting the fact that the students' names were blacked out with marker. She said "Believe me, if I could see through that marker, I would go look up all of them on F@cebook so I can see what they look like. I want to know who they are." And then she went on to talk about how the stack of papers was about 2" thick of names of students with HIV.
And I was so...surprised...and disgusted by her comments but I didn't what to say. So often I'm sitting in class and hear the other students talk about things that, um, highlight their immaturity. And I just ignore them because they are young and immature and, hey, they aren't having a conversation with me. But this crossed the line and I just sat there totally stunned by her insensitivity and asshole-ness. So, dear people of the internets, what would you have done?
2 comments:
SO hard to say what to do! They're (technically) your peers since you're all students in the class. When the power balance is different, it's easier, I think. When kids in my classroom are saying something immature and ill-informed, I usually put on my slightly smiling (to avoid looking accusatory or threatening...I know, right?) incredulous face and say something like, "I KNOW you didn't just say that." It usually allows the conversation to continue and turn into the proverbial "teachable moment" (I hope). Your situation is much more complex, and I think I too would have just sat by and steamed since their conversation was meant to be private. I'm not good at staying articulate under pressure - see below...
I felt the same powerless rage at an Orioles game the other week when the brilliant folks sitting around us decided to boo our mayor when she came out on the field and proceed to make disparaging remarks about how she was black and female and didn't have any real qualifications and "calls in favors." I was appalled at them and I was surprised at how ANGRY I felt. The game hadn't even started yet, so should we have said something and made it clear that we were moving our seats because they offended us? Should we have gone the peacebuilding route and try to engage them in conversation? I was too shocked and angry to do ANYTHING and I'm still thinking about it.
That's why I feel so...I don't know. Obviously this bothers me but she was not, in fact, conversing with me and I don't want to be the person that butts in and tells her why she's all kinds of wrong. And yet...maybe I do. But apparently not badly enough to say something right then and there. I swear, if I knew exactly what her work study job was I would call her boss.
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