It seems like it's all about feces...

If you can't tell by the title that this post is about to err on the side of gross, well, you've been warned.

Ah, yes, poop. My favorite topic of conversation. So, for the benefit of those of you who are doomed to listen to me bitch about how tough this program is (you know, the one I so desperately wanted to get into) and for the rest of you who might be interested in what goes on in a nursing program, well, it can be summed up in one word: poop. Or feces. Or excrement. You decide which word you prefer.

So much of what I'm learning is about poop. It's about other things too like liability (scary!), teaching (fun!) , administering medication (also scary!), bathing (sometimes I'll get to delegate that one), assessment and diagnosis (nursing not medical) and, yes, toileting. And, yes, the poop.

The poop tells you so many things about a person's health status but also about their level of mobility. Even a perfectly innocuous discussion about pressure ulcers ends up with some chit chat about wanting to clean up diarrhea before it gets near the wound dressings. See? Poop. (Also, exudate and other perfectly nasty stuff involving pressure ulcers). Or, narcotics for post-surgical patients slows peristalsis and frequently results in constipation. Let's talk about how we treat constipation (also, you don't even want to know about fecal impaction and digital removal). During a health assessment, auscultate, palpate and percuss the abdomen and be sure to ask about the frequency and quality of bowel movements. Truly, we talk about poop at least 3 times a day 5 days a week.

Clinical rotations are going to be assigned next week. We'll be spending 10 weeks in a post-acute setting and will be spending a lot of time helping patients ambulate and assisting with self-care, toileting, etc. and I understand that poop will play a prominent role during this assignment. I assure you there will be more to share than just poop talk so stay tuned.

I know I talk a lot about poop but please know that nursing is so much more than bodily functions. Consider this:

The unique function of the nurse is to assist the individual, sick or well, in the performance of those activities contributing to health or its recovery (or to peaceful death) that he would perform unaided if he had the necessary strength, will or knowledge. And to do this in such a way as to help him gain independence as rapidly as possible.

-Virginia Henderson, 1966