Crossroads, continued...

Well, I really am leaving my job (finally--I'm such a sucker) and this time I'm really ready to go and I am not even going to miss that place. The people (some of them), yes but not the company and not the work. I have worked in the non-profit field for the past 5 years and here I am already burned out on it. And the tough part is that the job I have now was supposed to be my dream job. And it wasn't. At all.

So, it's time to move on and I'll be spending my summer up to my eyeballs in chemistry and microbiology and any other courses I can get into. I'm applying for a part time receptionist job at doctor's office so that I can still bring in a little bit of money while working in a place that will look better on my application to nursing school. And will be the kind of job that is done at the end of the day. No more taking work home to do at night or on weekends and no more going in on my day off.

I think I've decided that it's much better to work at a job that pays more money and therefore you have more money to give to charity than it is to work for a non-profit. Not that it's always about the money--if it was I would have never gone into non-profit in the first place. But, there's something about this sector that really turns you off. I don't know if it's the fact that office politics are the same as in the corporate world...or there are too many people who get promoted to positions for which they're not qualified b/c it would cost more money to bring in an outside person who will demand a higher salary...or if it's that you work your ass off and there's never a bonus, you don't get more days off and you get a minuscule raise (if you get a raise at all). Non-profit sucks the life out of you and for what?

I'm tired of this "for the good of the community" bullshit. I'm at a point in my life where I want to do something I love instead of taking a job b/c I'm desperate for work. I want to make what I'm worth. I want a job that when the day is done, I don't take it home with me. I might think about it after I leave but I don't take actual, physical work home. I want a job that makes a difference in the lives of others but I want to be the direct service provider instead of the one who helps raise money so the provider can serve the agency's clients. I want a job where the upper-level management doesn't talk out of both sides of their mouths (like that one is going to happen) telling you how wonderful you are one minute and trashing you the second you've left the room.

I'm going to look for that job when I'm out of nursing school and I hope I find it. And on June 1st? I'm going to leave all this shit behind me.