My body is not the problem...

It is the solution. It's my new mantra and it's one that I have to repeat often. For so long I have regarded my body as a "frenemy" and it's not working out anymore. In fact, it's just down right self-defeating.

The thing is, I've been doing all the right things: eating well-balanced and nutritious meals, getting plenty of exercise and taking in plenty of fluids. Many years ago when I first did Wt Watchers, I cut down on soda (diet soda tastes disgusting so I wasn't even going to go there) and stopped taking sugar in my coffee. And I started putting more thought into what I put in my mouth. And over the next few years I lost about 5 more lbs beyond my goal weight and stayed at that weight for a long time. Somewhere in there I started eating a mostly vegetarian diet, and I say "mostly" because bacon was my downfall nearly every time. Mmmmm.... bacon.

In 2008 we moved to CA and I had my choice of fabulous produce that was freshly picked and displayed so tantalizingly at the weekly farmers markets. We ate even more veg and fruit and it was all so good for us. That December I decided to make exercising a regular part of my weekly activities and have managed to stick with it ever since. I do mostly low-fat cooking at home (along with some rather tasty full-fat baking on occasion) and we have continued to follow a mostly vegetarian diet. I started engaging in mindful eating and investigating the cause of a hunger pang--am I thirsty (the hypothalamus regulates both hunger and thirst and your body may interpret a signal for more fluids as hunger), am I hungry or am I bored?--before automatically assuming I'm hungry. I serve myself appropriate portion sizes on smaller plates and in smaller bowls so that I know I'm not putting more food in the vessel to merely fill up the space available. Also, I know that if it's on the plate I'll eat it so I have to be mindful when I'm at a restaurant or, good lord, Chipotle.

So, I've done all of these things and I've lost a good bit of weight and buffed up some muscles. And yet I'm never happy with the result. Even though my scale shows a number that I don't ever remember seeing (I swear I was just jumped from little kid sizes to size 10 in the juniors dept) and I'm wearing smalls and mediums and a pants size that I NEVER thought I would see, I'm still not happy. All I see is the poochy part of my lower abdomen or the saddle bags or the droopy boobs and I don't see the muscles that allow me to live an active life. And that is not cool.

So I decided that I was not going to let myself focus on the various fat deposits that remain and instead try to enjoy what I do have. I have a strong body that can run down a tennis ball like nobody's business, that can play two hours of tennis and then go home and do hours of yard work (I was exhausted by the end) and that looks pretty cute in clothes*. And I'm going to keep on doing the good things and try to focus less on what I can't do or what I don't look like and instead focus on all that I can do. Which is a lot. Thank you, body of mine, for doing such a good job. Keep up the good work (gives self a pat on the back).

*droopy boobs notwithstanding. Seriously, WTF? Thank god for push-up bras, is all I can say.