Six weird things about, my wife, the Fummer.
(Guest blogged by The Tall Man)

1) Her freakish sense of smell. (Accompanied by many conversations like "Do you smell that?" "Smell what?" "I can't believe you can't smell that!"

2) The oft repeated dance of "Something's touching me!" followed by an intense search for the culpable wisp of dog fur, her hair or a loose thread. The compulsion is so strong that it could not even be contained on our first date.

3) Any joke containing the magic words "poo", "ass" or "fart" in the punch line is implicitly hilarious. Bonus points if it includes all three.

4) A breathtaking ability to swing from a great mood to full wrath and back in five seconds.

5) Her desire to rush over to any dog and befriend it, compared to her complete ambivalence to children.

6) Despite needing to hold my hand and repeat "Orcs eating doughnuts... orcs eating doughnuts" when we actively watch the movies, she will turn on the Lord of Rings movies for background noise while studying.