The Internets...

Never fail to surprise me. I found this the other day. Now, let me tell you how I found this (and it was totally by accident).

Michael and I were looking online for a corner medicine cabinet that had a built-in light. And I'm on the L0wesDep0t website and and the link to their bidet selection caught my eye. Don't ask me why, but it did. So I thought I would check it out. The only house I've ever been in that had one is...well, I'm sure you know whose house had the bidet. Anyway, since bidets aren't all that common - at least not in the places where I hang out on a regular basis - I decided to do a web search of bidets. And the first link I found was, well, the Poop Report. And, hell, it's just fun to say "Poop Report." Hee. I said poop. Check it out--I think you'll like it.

Breakin' the law...

Well, not really but I haven't been blogging while at work because big brother, I mean my employer, is watching. But today I say fuck it. I will be brief, however, because I really do need to do work while at work.

Thanks to all of you for your kind words and support as we go through the grieving process. You know, it's odd....I've identified myself as a crazy dog lady for so long now and I feel like I've lost that part of myself when Shana died. I mean, mentally I'm still a crazy dog lady but in actuality I'm not anymore. That's hard. Admittedly I've been lurking here. We're not ready yet for another dog but maybe we will be in a couple of months.

Other than that, they've started construction on our soon-to-be half bath on the first floor. They've already torn out the stairs and tile and today the plumber is coming to do whatever it is he needs to do. Probably something gross like installing the pipe for the toilet. I'll post some pictures shortly. Until then...

To My Sweet Baby Girl:

I remember the day I brought you home from the Humane League as a 3-month-old puppy and every time you sat down on the carpet I made you stand up because I couldn't tell if you were about to pee on the floor or just sitting.

I remember coming home from Thanksgiving at the G House to find that you had stolen the remnants of our turkey and to this day I still wonder how you were able to reach it.

I remember worrying that you wouldn't graduate from obedience school because you hated going through the obstacle course.

I remember how much you liked to chase squirrels in the backyard and would always get your lead tangled up in the bushes.

I remember sharing my bed with you and falling asleep with my arm around you with my face burried in your fur.

I remember how you loved to go for walks--especially at L's Park because you liked to mooch the bread we had brought to feed the ducks.

I remember how you liked to chase the cats that lived at the vet's office.

I remember how much I loved to come home from work to find you waiting at the door for me.

I remember how much you loved treats and that time you almost took the vet's fingers off in your effort to take the treat he offered you.

I remember every single time I had to call the animal poison control line and/or go to the emergency vet because you ate something you shouldn't have.

I remember how you were always there for me through all the good and bad times.

I remember that you stayed by my side the entire week I slept on the couch after my sinus surgery.

I remember what a good girl you were and all the joy you brought into my life in the last 10 and a half years. Having you in my life has been one of the most rewarding, difficult, fun, wonderful and amazing things I've ever experienced. You will be dearly missed.

Weddings bring out the *inappropriate* in people...

Seriously. People call (however nicely) to ask if they can bring their kid to your No Ankle Biters Allowed wedding and reception; to ask if they are invited (WTF?!?!) and to jump your shit because they think you made an insulting comment about the U.S. Sostal Pervice. I realize that there are other couples out there who have endured far worse, but, seriously, what is wrong with people?

I just keep thinking that we should have eloped.

A word to the wise...

Never turn your back to a fire dancer.

Going to the Chapel...

And I'm going to be a vegetarian. Except those are two totally different topics for discussion. Let's deal with the vegetarian thing for now.

So...I'm really not sure what it was exactly that made me say "Hey! I want to try a vegetarian diet!" but it had a little bit to do with this crazy PETA ad I saw about J Cru. Yes, I think the PETA people are a bunch of crazies but that's neither here nor there. Anyway, I got to thinking about this article in Wesneek from a few months back that really disturbed me. It was about how they force feed ducks before turning them (or, rather, their little livers) into foi gras. And I couldn't read the article but ever since I keep thinking about these ducks. And then I start thinking about the cows and the pigs and the chickens and I KNOW they're treated inhumanely from the moment their born until the moment they are turned into a hamburger or bacon.

But I'm also thinking about the environmental impact of raising the feed for these animals and the amount of water required to feed and raise them and the nasty manure run-off that ends up in streams. So, now I'm thinking I'll try a vegetarian diet and we'll see how it works out. I guess that was about 2 weeks ago and I've had chicken twice plus a turkey sandwich with bacon. Oh, and I had a cheeseburger somewhere in there. Man, this is not easy. And, I LOVE bacon. LOVE IT.

So, here I am, still working on this whole vegetarian thing and I even bought a book on how to do it in a healthy way. And that's what I have to say about that. We'll see how it works out.

The HHS class of '95 reunion recap!

I can't believe it's been 10 years...

Well, it wasn't a wasted weekend but it wasn't what I was looking for, either. I really thought more people would be there and it would have been more fun. Unfortunately, it was reminiscent of prom with bad food and the popular kids on the dance floor. Oh, and some people were losing their hair (hee!). And then some people looked exactly the same as they did 10 years ago. I'm not sure which was more weird, that some people definitely looked different and it took a moment to figure out who they were or that some people looked EXACTLY the same as they did 10 years ago. Or that JV looks just like his dad. Scary.

So, not much of a recap but I got to spend the evening with two of my favorite people (we should have gone to Friendly's afterwards), I saw my dad and my "second" parents (including Mrs. P.). Not bad for the fastest trip to Lanky-town I've ever made.

Michael doesn't speak German...

Not that this is a problem, but my grandma thinks it is. We're at the fabulous shower Angie and Amanda planned in my honor and my grandma is sitting next to me as I open gifts. Michael's oldest sister is there and she has given us a coffee carafe and some German coffee. Here's how the conversation goes:

Kelly (holding up carafe and coffee): Thank you!

Grandma: Does Michael speak German?

Kelly: No.

Grandma: How will you know how to make the coffee if the package is in German?

Kelly: Grandma, it's coffee. I'm sure we'll figure it out.

Grandma: But maybe you won't. It's in German. How will you know if you've made it right?

Kelly: (just keep smiling...opens next present) I'm sure we'll figure it out.

...sigh...Anyway, I had a wonderful time and it was so good to see some of my very favorite people. I had a fabulous bow hat that some of you will be seeing at the end of the month. All it needs is a baby chick in a nest and it will be good to go:> Here is a link to Angie's blog so you can see pics from the shower. Fabulous bow hat--wheee!

You can pick your nose...

And you can pick your friends. I don't actually recommend that you pick your friends' noses but that's not really the point. What you can't do is pick your family and sometimes that's a bad thing. But...this time it was a good thing.

I almost wish I could clone myself...

So I could have been at the beach, at home with the dog and on vacation with Michael all at the same time. And maybe my cloned selves would have such a wonderful time as to make up for the fact that I had to share a hotel room with my boss during the 4-day conference we attended. I won't give specifics here but let me just caution you: NEVER, and I mean never, share a hotel room with your boss. Trust me on this.

It's stupid hot outside....

It's 95 degrees outside and feels like 112. The low tonight is supposed to be 79.

Thank goodness for air conditioning!

Why Rick Santorum is a total fucking idiot...

I thought you might enjoy some quotes from this dipshit's new book:

"This was tried once before in America...but unlike abortion today, in most states even the slaveholder did not have the unlimited right to kill his slave."; "Respect for stay-at-home mothers has been poisoned by a toxic combination of the village elders' war on the traditional family and radical feminism's misogynistic crusade to make working outside the home the only marker of social value and self-respect."; and on welfare reform: "The notion that college education is a cost-effective way to help poor, low-skill unmarried mothers with high school diplomas or GEDs move up the economic ladder is just wrong."

Is this guy for real?!?!?

The countdown begins....

25 hrs. and 44 minutes

The good, the bad and the ugly....

The good news is that we FINALLY finished painting one room in our house. And it looks great!

The bad news is that we saw "Return of the Sith" and it was terrible. Except for Ew@n McGreg0r--he was the only redeeming factor out of 2+ hours of my life that I'll never see again.

The ugly news, of course, is Justice O'Connor's resignation from the Supreme Court. What are we going to do if He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named nominates another judge like that self-serving buttwipe Sc@lia?

On the side of the road...

I saw a sign bearing this message:

God rained down fire and brimstone once. He will do it again.

Who are the people who believe this crap (yes, I think it's crap) and why can't they keep it to themselves?!?!

In other news, the "YMCA Jesus" statue now has fountains installed in its pond. Seriously, what are these people going to think of next? Doesn't it just make you want to take a trip to Ohio so you can see this stuff?

I should be doing work right now...

but I haven't published any entries in a while. I've got a few half-written ones that I might get around to finishing someday.

So, I realize I have been a little out of touch these days and many apologies for that, especially to BANG! b/c we keep playing phone tag. It's just that by the time I get some work done on the house, I'm too tired to do much more than eat dinner, take a shower and go to bed. But. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. We put up the primer over the weekend and will progress to actual PAINT! Yes, PAINT! Ahem, we're going to put up paint this week and over the holiday weekend. Woo! Someday we will once again be able to sit in our living room on the sofas that are currently squished together in the middle of the room and covered with plastic sheeting and power tools. Part of me wants to say "Fck it! Let's just put up primer and be done." But in the long run that wouldn't be a very good option. Especially since you can see white bits on the ceiling where we didn't use enough primer.

Well, enough complaining. We'll be done soon enough and then we'll have fabulous houseguests to enjoy our pain and suffering, I mean hard work. Can't wait for you to get here!

What was I thinking?

Michael and I just spent more than one week's worth of my salary on paint and primer for our house. We are going to spend the whole summer painting...ugh...what was I thinking?

Just promise me that when you come to visit you'll "ooh" and "ahhh" over it so I can feel better about spending an entire summer painting.

Back to normal...I hope

The last week and a half has been a bit crazy and even nightmarish at times, and I hope things are starting to look up. My car got a massive flat tire, Shana was sick and puked all over my house, work has been a little crazy, Shana was still sick and had to go to the emergency vet, I still have a bad case of Athlete's Foot and some @sshole stole $35 worth of flowers off my front porch. But, my car has a band new tire at the grand price of one dollar, Shana is much better now that we know about this, and it's Friday. I still have Athlete's Foot and work is still a little crazy but the weekend is almost here and I can spend those 2 days off sanding and priming my living room and dining room.

But for now I should get back to work. Less than 8 hours to go....

I met the Devil at church

Seriously. And she wears her hair in Laura Ingalls-type braids.

Michael and I went to a wedding on Saturday night that was part of the church's regularly scheduled mass. Behind us were two women with whom Michael went to high school. After the ceremony/mass was over, he turned around to introduce me. After catching up with Michael has been up to over the last few years, the conversation turned to the braided one who announced that she works at this evil place. This place tells women that abortion causes lung disease. Lung disease? Seriously? That's the best they can do? Anyway, it turns out that the Devil (as I've started calling her) was born into a devout Catholic family (I guess it's no surprise that she works there but there are plenty of practicing Catholics out there that wouldn't dream of working at a place like this) but I can't shake the feeling that I should have said something. But what? Besides that I think she's the devil. That the organization for which she works preys on young, potentially pregnant women who are scared and not sure where to turn for advice. An organization founded on medical MISinformation, that uses scare tactics and assigns guilt to sexually active women and men.

But I didn't know what to say or if I should say anything at all. And here I am, 3 days later and still thinking about the lost opportunity to say that her work SCARES women into making uniformed decisions. Abortion isn't the right choice for all women with unwanted pregnancies, but then, neither is childbirth and caring for an infant when you aren't even old enough to vote. No organization should be telling women that abortion causes liver disease or that she's 800% more likely to develop cancer if she has an abortion because neither of these so called "facts" are true. No organization should coerce a woman into making a decision she isn't ready to make.

The opportunity to say something has passed but I know the work we're doing helps women and their partners make informed decisions about whether and when to bring a child into this world.

Excited about...poop

That's me. Excited about poop. Shana's poop to be specific. She finally went after a whole week of not going and, dammit, I'm proud of her. Poor little peg leg dog. She got her cast off today and the vet says she's doing great. I just feel so bad for her. She has no idea what happened to her, and since she's a dog and is not capable of cognitive thought, there is no way for me to explain it. But she's been such a trooper and really is doing well. She won't have her staples removed for another week yet, but so far so good. And here I am only one week into a 3 month recovery process that requires Michael and I carry her up and down the stairs in our house until said recovery period is over....sigh....the things I do for my dog. And she's totally worth it:>