For better or for worse...
And in this case it was for worse. But before I get to that I really must acknowledge my husband for the wonderful human being that he is, for being my pillar of strength, for letting me cry all over him and for comforting not just me, but my mom and grandma.
A week ago today we found out that my Aunt Mauna was killed in a car accident in Champaign, IL where she lives. We didn't find out until Friday that the guy who caused the accident was driving drunk and that he had 2 previous DUIs and that he was driving on a revoked license. And that he fled on foot and hid in a drainage ditch and the police had to send a dog in to drag him out. And now that man is in jail and the charges against him come with a 35-year prison sentence.
The funeral service was so nice...so personal...so happy and sad at the same time. We recounted funny memories and we got to see the sides of my aunt's life we didn't know much about as evidenced by the very long line of friends, co-workers, neighbors (and a couple ex-husbands) who arrived at the funeral home to pay their respects. And I got a fit of the inappropriate giggles when my cousin sang a song that was a little out of her range and it reminded me of when my Aunt June sang so horribly at my Aunt Susie's wedding.
Anyway, the whole last week has been spent in shock and in mourning. I slept all day on Tuesday and am just now starting to feel somewhat normal. But it's hard to carry on with normal activities when the loss of a loved one is always in the back of your mind. But I need to, we all need to, because we're still here on this earth. And for better or for worse (hopefully more for the better) we will keep on going...all the while missing our loved ones and every fond memory a celebration of our crazy lives.
12.19.2007
12.13.2007
So surreal...
Do you ever have one of those moments where you think to yourself "Did that really just happen?" Michael and I had one of those moments on Friday and I'm still thinking about it.
So, last Friday Michael and I met our dear friend Burt for lunch at this little hole in the wall bar near our house. Some of you might remember Burt from our wedding. He was the short elderly gentleman who kept talking about his "sperm-in-law." Of course, that's a story for another time. Anyway, Burt is an interesting person. He's so nice and so outgoing and just loves talking to people.
Well, we're eating lunch, and Burt's friend David walks in and joins us. He's a doctor with a rehab medicine practice and had recently returned from a trip to Ethiopia (we're not at the surreal part yet). And then Burt asks David if the couple at the table next to us looked familiar. David says that he doesn't recognize them but by then Burt has gone over to them to invite them to join our table.
The couple, Wes and Monica, agree to join us and they pull up some stools from the bar. We're chatting with them for a bit and then Burt asks them how they met. Wes looks at Monica and Monica looks at Wes and they're saying to each other "You tell them." "No, you." "Okay, I'll tell them." Monica tells us that they met in a bar. But Burt decides that their story lacks a little pizazz and that's when Monica says "Actually, I'm a stripper and I always swore I wouldn't do this but I did. I ended up dating a customer." And we all laugh and think "Ha ha--she's so funny!" Except...she wasn't kidding. Um, she really is a stripper. Oh, dear god, she really is a stripper. Hee!
Of course, then we had to talk all about strippers and it was a fascinating conversation. She told us that girls of all shapes and sizes work at the club with her and that she really likes the work. I had to ask about the whole pole dancing thing and she told us that 2 of the poles are stationary but the others are mounted on ball bearings so when you see the girls fling themselves around the poles, they aren't spinning on the pole, the pole is spinning them. Monica, however, eschews the pole because she's afraid she'll hurt herself on it. We had a short discussion on the stripping business (unfortunately no time for feminist discourse) but then it was time for Michael to go back to work and I had to run errands.
But before we go, Burt invites our new...acquaintances?...to our party that we had on Saturday. What the hell? It turns out that Monica and Wes live in our neighborhood so that's cool b/c we love meeting people from our neighborhood but Burt didn't even ask, he just invited these people. So, we left wondering if they would show and, of course, I told half the people at our party about this couple and they never came. But David and his wife Sarah joined us and they were lovely. Everyone at our party was wondering if Sarah was the stripper but, alas, she was not. Anyway, Monica and Wes didn't come to our party but we have an open invitation to come see her here. Apparently they have male strippers on Saturday night.
Do you ever have one of those moments where you think to yourself "Did that really just happen?" Michael and I had one of those moments on Friday and I'm still thinking about it.
So, last Friday Michael and I met our dear friend Burt for lunch at this little hole in the wall bar near our house. Some of you might remember Burt from our wedding. He was the short elderly gentleman who kept talking about his "sperm-in-law." Of course, that's a story for another time. Anyway, Burt is an interesting person. He's so nice and so outgoing and just loves talking to people.
Well, we're eating lunch, and Burt's friend David walks in and joins us. He's a doctor with a rehab medicine practice and had recently returned from a trip to Ethiopia (we're not at the surreal part yet). And then Burt asks David if the couple at the table next to us looked familiar. David says that he doesn't recognize them but by then Burt has gone over to them to invite them to join our table.
The couple, Wes and Monica, agree to join us and they pull up some stools from the bar. We're chatting with them for a bit and then Burt asks them how they met. Wes looks at Monica and Monica looks at Wes and they're saying to each other "You tell them." "No, you." "Okay, I'll tell them." Monica tells us that they met in a bar. But Burt decides that their story lacks a little pizazz and that's when Monica says "Actually, I'm a stripper and I always swore I wouldn't do this but I did. I ended up dating a customer." And we all laugh and think "Ha ha--she's so funny!" Except...she wasn't kidding. Um, she really is a stripper. Oh, dear god, she really is a stripper. Hee!
Of course, then we had to talk all about strippers and it was a fascinating conversation. She told us that girls of all shapes and sizes work at the club with her and that she really likes the work. I had to ask about the whole pole dancing thing and she told us that 2 of the poles are stationary but the others are mounted on ball bearings so when you see the girls fling themselves around the poles, they aren't spinning on the pole, the pole is spinning them. Monica, however, eschews the pole because she's afraid she'll hurt herself on it. We had a short discussion on the stripping business (unfortunately no time for feminist discourse) but then it was time for Michael to go back to work and I had to run errands.
But before we go, Burt invites our new...acquaintances?...to our party that we had on Saturday. What the hell? It turns out that Monica and Wes live in our neighborhood so that's cool b/c we love meeting people from our neighborhood but Burt didn't even ask, he just invited these people. So, we left wondering if they would show and, of course, I told half the people at our party about this couple and they never came. But David and his wife Sarah joined us and they were lovely. Everyone at our party was wondering if Sarah was the stripper but, alas, she was not. Anyway, Monica and Wes didn't come to our party but we have an open invitation to come see her here. Apparently they have male strippers on Saturday night.
12.12.2007
Our little family...
For those of you who haven't seen our newest 4-legged addition, here she is...
Esme is approximately 3 years old and just a sweet, sweet girl. She can be the devil in disguise so don't let the cuteness fool you. Esme was found abandoned in an empty apartment with 7 one week old puppies and she was brought in to SICSA with pups in tow. The staff helped Esme (then named Nina) with raising her pups and after they were old enough they were all adopted. Only Esme hadn't yet found a family to adopt her but if you ask me, I think it was a little bit of fate on our side that brought us together.
She doesn't like having her picture taken so we don't very many good ones to post yet but I promise we'll put up more soon.
11.19.2007
Low Impact Fummer
Long I have admired No Impact Man, Colin Beavan, and have been following his year-long "no impact experiment" since March. And thrown in there is my growing interest in eating local and /or organic food inspired by Michael Pollan's The Omnivore's Dilemma and Barbara Kingsolver's Animal, Vegetable, Miracle. Actually, my interest in being a more conscious consumer and eater dates back to my first attempt at giving up meat but in the last year I've really stepped it up. Admittedly, it's hard sometimes. And while Michael is incredibly supportive of the changes we've made (he better be since I'm the one who goes to the grocery and cooks for us), I know it's harder on him than me but he's a good sport about it anyway.
There are many reasons for not wanting to eat meat, but not one of them has to do with not eating animals. I think it's okay to eat meat, because, hey, it tastes good. But I try not to because I don't agree with factory farming because it's bad for the animals and bad for the environment. Sometimes I fall of the wagon (like today) and eat a little meat. But when I do, I try to make sure it came from a local farmer who treats her/his animals humanely. Besides that, as a society, we eat more meat than we should and a diet rich in veg, grains and legumes is a much healthier option.
And when I buy groceries, I try to buy locally grown items, environmentally-friendly cleaning products, tissues and t.p. and I try to limit the amount of convenience foods I buy. And I severely restrict the amount of produce that I buy out of season that must be transported from California or even another country. That means no more bananas, no asparagus, no fresh tomatoes (although, who wants to eat them in winter anyway? They are so tasteless and grainy), and absolutely no strawberries in January. Or grapes.
What this means is that I have to think about about what I cook, what I buy, do I have the time to walk to the drugstore or do I need to drive, etc. all the time. But I think it's important. And there are things we could all be doing to be more conscious of reducing our energy needs, being kinder to the environment and feeding our bodies the best food we can. And in case you don't hear enough about this in the news already, here are some of the things that Michael and I do:
Long I have admired No Impact Man, Colin Beavan, and have been following his year-long "no impact experiment" since March. And thrown in there is my growing interest in eating local and /or organic food inspired by Michael Pollan's The Omnivore's Dilemma and Barbara Kingsolver's Animal, Vegetable, Miracle. Actually, my interest in being a more conscious consumer and eater dates back to my first attempt at giving up meat but in the last year I've really stepped it up. Admittedly, it's hard sometimes. And while Michael is incredibly supportive of the changes we've made (he better be since I'm the one who goes to the grocery and cooks for us), I know it's harder on him than me but he's a good sport about it anyway.
There are many reasons for not wanting to eat meat, but not one of them has to do with not eating animals. I think it's okay to eat meat, because, hey, it tastes good. But I try not to because I don't agree with factory farming because it's bad for the animals and bad for the environment. Sometimes I fall of the wagon (like today) and eat a little meat. But when I do, I try to make sure it came from a local farmer who treats her/his animals humanely. Besides that, as a society, we eat more meat than we should and a diet rich in veg, grains and legumes is a much healthier option.
And when I buy groceries, I try to buy locally grown items, environmentally-friendly cleaning products, tissues and t.p. and I try to limit the amount of convenience foods I buy. And I severely restrict the amount of produce that I buy out of season that must be transported from California or even another country. That means no more bananas, no asparagus, no fresh tomatoes (although, who wants to eat them in winter anyway? They are so tasteless and grainy), and absolutely no strawberries in January. Or grapes.
What this means is that I have to think about about what I cook, what I buy, do I have the time to walk to the drugstore or do I need to drive, etc. all the time. But I think it's important. And there are things we could all be doing to be more conscious of reducing our energy needs, being kinder to the environment and feeding our bodies the best food we can. And in case you don't hear enough about this in the news already, here are some of the things that Michael and I do:
- join a CSA farm or shop at a farmer's market
- buy organic meat, dairy and produce when you can
- use cloth napkins instead of paper napkins at meal times
- don't buy bottled water
- recycle (yes, it's true that recycling uses fossil fuels but it beats putting all the trash in a landfill)
- walk, bike or take public transportation when you can (public transportation is sub-optimal in Dayton so we walk when we can and drive when we can't)
- turn off lights when you leave a room and don't take long showers (I can tell you that's a hard one to give up)
- wash your laundry on cold and try to do a number of loads at a time to maximize the energy your dryer uses or hang your clothes on a line
- keep your thermostat at 68 degrees (at our house it's never above 64) when you're home and drop in the low 60's or upper 50's at night or when you are away from home
- exchange incandescent light bulbs for energy-efficient fluorescent bulbs
11.15.2007
The right to be smoke free...
I don't usually make a habit of airing dirty family laundry on here but this is something that's been bothering me for a long time. A. Very. Long. Time.
It has become painfully clear to me that my mother, despite her many health issues, is not going to quit smoking. I am not the only person to struggle with this issue, but it is especially painful for me since I've tried very hard to be supportive during said health problems. My brother, on the other hand, is supportive in a different way (read: not my way which obviously means he's doing it wrong). After a recent conversation with him, however, it became all too clear that our mom is not going to quit smoking. Ever.
And the smoking is probably the biggest reason that she and I argue. Hell, we discussed it in therapy A LOT, it was that big. So, since I can't make my mom quit smoking and my efforts to get her to quit aren't working, then something has to change. I can't change her but I can change the way I choose to deal with this situation. So, I told her that we would love for her to visit and we would love for her to stay with us at X-mas but she can't smoke while she's here. And I don't just mean not smoking in the house which has never been allowed anyway, but no smoking at all. No smoking on the porch, in the car, at the gas station up the street. No smoking at all while she's here. Second hand smoke is nasty. It smells bad and it lingers on the smoker and anything she touches for days. And it is gross and disgusting. And when a smoker has to go outside and smoke then that person is leaving what you're doing at that time or if you have to wait for that person to finish a cigarette before getting back in the car to go somewhere then it holds you up and it makes your car smell bad. Besides that, second hand smoke smell is every bit as bad for my allergies as being right next to a burning cigarette.
So, that's my decision and I'm sticking to it. If my mom can't honor that request then I guess she won't be coming to visit. And that would make me really sad. I know that cigarettes are terribly addictive and my mom has been smoking longer than she hasn't but it is a disease and cancer-causing addiction. And I'm not going to compromise on this issue any longer.
I don't usually make a habit of airing dirty family laundry on here but this is something that's been bothering me for a long time. A. Very. Long. Time.
It has become painfully clear to me that my mother, despite her many health issues, is not going to quit smoking. I am not the only person to struggle with this issue, but it is especially painful for me since I've tried very hard to be supportive during said health problems. My brother, on the other hand, is supportive in a different way (read: not my way which obviously means he's doing it wrong). After a recent conversation with him, however, it became all too clear that our mom is not going to quit smoking. Ever.
And the smoking is probably the biggest reason that she and I argue. Hell, we discussed it in therapy A LOT, it was that big. So, since I can't make my mom quit smoking and my efforts to get her to quit aren't working, then something has to change. I can't change her but I can change the way I choose to deal with this situation. So, I told her that we would love for her to visit and we would love for her to stay with us at X-mas but she can't smoke while she's here. And I don't just mean not smoking in the house which has never been allowed anyway, but no smoking at all. No smoking on the porch, in the car, at the gas station up the street. No smoking at all while she's here. Second hand smoke is nasty. It smells bad and it lingers on the smoker and anything she touches for days. And it is gross and disgusting. And when a smoker has to go outside and smoke then that person is leaving what you're doing at that time or if you have to wait for that person to finish a cigarette before getting back in the car to go somewhere then it holds you up and it makes your car smell bad. Besides that, second hand smoke smell is every bit as bad for my allergies as being right next to a burning cigarette.
So, that's my decision and I'm sticking to it. If my mom can't honor that request then I guess she won't be coming to visit. And that would make me really sad. I know that cigarettes are terribly addictive and my mom has been smoking longer than she hasn't but it is a disease and cancer-causing addiction. And I'm not going to compromise on this issue any longer.
10.29.2007
Bringing home the bacos...
Michael is the one who brings home the bacon and I bring home the bacos. I don't work enough shifts to bring home bacon. Anyway, my new job is working out well so far. The people are nice and the tips are decent. But, as it is a restaurant job, time spent at work means thrusting myself into a vortex of drama because restaurant people hang out together and sleep together and create more drama. And of course they are totally incapable of checking said drama at the door and instead bring it to work for the rest of us. Maybe they think they're being kind by sharing. Or maybe they think that the rest of us must lead some pretty boring lives and they're doing us a favor by allowing us to live vicariously thru them. I don't know. All I do know is that I show up, do my work, make my money, eat a salad and go home. Oh, and take my bacos to the bank.
And with all new jobs, you have to spend some time learning who the various characters are...there's the know-it-all, the guy who sells vitamin supplements on the side and wants you to join his business venture, the guy who plays the restaurant version of House, MD, the crack head, the little skinny chicks who are chock full o' drama, the gay Republican (I know, right?) and a couple of college students like myself. So far they seem pretty normal and maybe that's just because they don't work there enough to take on some of the drama. There are probably some people I missed but you get the point. Drama aside, it's still better than staying on at my last job no matter how good the pay and flexibility were. Neener, neener.
Michael is the one who brings home the bacon and I bring home the bacos. I don't work enough shifts to bring home bacon. Anyway, my new job is working out well so far. The people are nice and the tips are decent. But, as it is a restaurant job, time spent at work means thrusting myself into a vortex of drama because restaurant people hang out together and sleep together and create more drama. And of course they are totally incapable of checking said drama at the door and instead bring it to work for the rest of us. Maybe they think they're being kind by sharing. Or maybe they think that the rest of us must lead some pretty boring lives and they're doing us a favor by allowing us to live vicariously thru them. I don't know. All I do know is that I show up, do my work, make my money, eat a salad and go home. Oh, and take my bacos to the bank.
And with all new jobs, you have to spend some time learning who the various characters are...there's the know-it-all, the guy who sells vitamin supplements on the side and wants you to join his business venture, the guy who plays the restaurant version of House, MD, the crack head, the little skinny chicks who are chock full o' drama, the gay Republican (I know, right?) and a couple of college students like myself. So far they seem pretty normal and maybe that's just because they don't work there enough to take on some of the drama. There are probably some people I missed but you get the point. Drama aside, it's still better than staying on at my last job no matter how good the pay and flexibility were. Neener, neener.
10.22.2007
Blarg...
That's pretty much I feel at the moment but I've made my decision and I'm sticking to it. I'm sort of in nursing school application hell at the moment--trying to figure out what I can do to ensure that my GPA is the highest it can be so I can ensure a slot in the program this spring. So....I dropped Physiology. Blarg. But I was getting a C and no matter what I couldn't bring it up above a C so as it stands now, I'll end up with a GPA of 3.4. If I can boost my Micro grade to an A from a B then I'll have a 3.6 and hopefully (fingers crossed) my app. will be near the top of the pile when it comes time to make admission decisions.
It only puts me back one class slot in one semester so it isn't a huge deal as long as I get into the program for the spring. And since they are only looking at GPA (and in my case, only my GPA post-bachelor's) and reserve the right to accept WSU students with 30 credits hours or more from WSU (even if they have a lower GPA) ahead of transer students like me, I have got to have a high GPA. I was rather disappointed to find out that they won't be taking age, maturity, previous job and/or life experience into consideration when making these decisions but that's how they do it. Anyway, I'll be submitting my application before Thanksgiving so keep your fingers crossed for me. I should know if I'm accepted or not by January 30.
So, this is one of the many things that have been keeping me so busy I don't know if I'm coming or going these days. Last week was terrible for many reasons but now that I dropped Phys. things won't be nearly as bad. Maybe. Well, let's hope not. Because my house has been a mess and there's a mountain of laundry in the basement that needs to be washed and I hardly get to talk to my friends on the phone and I never have time to check email and I hardly see my husband and I am pooped. POOPED, I say. And I was so worn out by school, work and life that the birthday fun-ness I had been anticipating last month was the last thing in the world that I wanted to deal with. Which is a shame b/c I've always thought of 30 as the magic age and the month before my birthday sucked and the day of was pretty good but frankly I did not even have time to celebrate. But 30 is here to stay for a while so let's hope the next 300+ days of it are the magical days I've always hoped for.
That's pretty much I feel at the moment but I've made my decision and I'm sticking to it. I'm sort of in nursing school application hell at the moment--trying to figure out what I can do to ensure that my GPA is the highest it can be so I can ensure a slot in the program this spring. So....I dropped Physiology. Blarg. But I was getting a C and no matter what I couldn't bring it up above a C so as it stands now, I'll end up with a GPA of 3.4. If I can boost my Micro grade to an A from a B then I'll have a 3.6 and hopefully (fingers crossed) my app. will be near the top of the pile when it comes time to make admission decisions.
It only puts me back one class slot in one semester so it isn't a huge deal as long as I get into the program for the spring. And since they are only looking at GPA (and in my case, only my GPA post-bachelor's) and reserve the right to accept WSU students with 30 credits hours or more from WSU (even if they have a lower GPA) ahead of transer students like me, I have got to have a high GPA. I was rather disappointed to find out that they won't be taking age, maturity, previous job and/or life experience into consideration when making these decisions but that's how they do it. Anyway, I'll be submitting my application before Thanksgiving so keep your fingers crossed for me. I should know if I'm accepted or not by January 30.
So, this is one of the many things that have been keeping me so busy I don't know if I'm coming or going these days. Last week was terrible for many reasons but now that I dropped Phys. things won't be nearly as bad. Maybe. Well, let's hope not. Because my house has been a mess and there's a mountain of laundry in the basement that needs to be washed and I hardly get to talk to my friends on the phone and I never have time to check email and I hardly see my husband and I am pooped. POOPED, I say. And I was so worn out by school, work and life that the birthday fun-ness I had been anticipating last month was the last thing in the world that I wanted to deal with. Which is a shame b/c I've always thought of 30 as the magic age and the month before my birthday sucked and the day of was pretty good but frankly I did not even have time to celebrate. But 30 is here to stay for a while so let's hope the next 300+ days of it are the magical days I've always hoped for.
9.26.2007
Feelin' like I need something to love on...
Alas, the need to love on something 4-legged and furry has set in. But. This time Michael and I really, really are not going to get a dog for a while (you'll remember that we said this the last time--we made it 6 weeks). We just can't do it right now for a variety of reason, not the least of which is that we aren't emotionally ready, but I feel like I need to love on something. Besides my husband.
So, we talked about bunnies or even a guinea pig or something but Michael doesn't get the warm fuzzies for those kinds of critters. I think that I could be pretty excited about a bunny. You can litter-train them and they are very warm and fuzzy. And they have 4 legs so that pretty much meets my list of requirements. Even if we decide to go this route it won't be for a while. So, people of the internets, I ask you: can you love a bunny as much as a dog?
Alas, the need to love on something 4-legged and furry has set in. But. This time Michael and I really, really are not going to get a dog for a while (you'll remember that we said this the last time--we made it 6 weeks). We just can't do it right now for a variety of reason, not the least of which is that we aren't emotionally ready, but I feel like I need to love on something. Besides my husband.
So, we talked about bunnies or even a guinea pig or something but Michael doesn't get the warm fuzzies for those kinds of critters. I think that I could be pretty excited about a bunny. You can litter-train them and they are very warm and fuzzy. And they have 4 legs so that pretty much meets my list of requirements. Even if we decide to go this route it won't be for a while. So, people of the internets, I ask you: can you love a bunny as much as a dog?
9.23.2007
When it rains, it pours....
I swear I would have posted sooner if it weren't for the fact that the last month has been total ass. Seriously. First my dear, sweet baby had to be put to sleep. And then, the next day? I had to have my car towed to the mechanic b/c the spring on the strut broke and Michael and I had to shell out over $600 to have new struts put on. Have I mentioned lately that we are just hemorrhaging money? No? Well, we are.
Flash forward one week (we'll skip the part about how I was too sad to concentrate on studying) and I get a phone call from my aunt to let me know that my mom had been admitted to the hospital for a bowel obstruction. Blarg. So, Michael and I hop in the car and drive the 2.5 hours to Indy to go see her. The good news is that she's better and is back home. The bad news is that I have an exam tomorrow and I don't feel even close to prepared for it because, you see, it's hard to study when you have to drive 2.5 hours to Indy and then try to study at a hospital. Also, there's no sleeping at the hospital either.
But it isn't all bad. I have wonderfully supportive friends who surprise me with a gift card to my favorite upscale grocery store and an amazing husband who played the part of June Cleaver so that I could study. Oh, and I finally got a job. I figured it would just be easier to go back to waiting tables than to convince people at doctors' offfices that I really, really do want to be a receptionist for a piddly $10/hr. Now I'll make more money and no one asks me about why I left my last job or any of that other crap. And (this is the best part) I got my braces off. I'll post a picture soon...after I get thru these exams this week. I promise.
So, things are looking up. I'm still really sad a lot of the time but there are a lot of good people and good things going on in my life. Yep, things are looking up.
I swear I would have posted sooner if it weren't for the fact that the last month has been total ass. Seriously. First my dear, sweet baby had to be put to sleep. And then, the next day? I had to have my car towed to the mechanic b/c the spring on the strut broke and Michael and I had to shell out over $600 to have new struts put on. Have I mentioned lately that we are just hemorrhaging money? No? Well, we are.
Flash forward one week (we'll skip the part about how I was too sad to concentrate on studying) and I get a phone call from my aunt to let me know that my mom had been admitted to the hospital for a bowel obstruction. Blarg. So, Michael and I hop in the car and drive the 2.5 hours to Indy to go see her. The good news is that she's better and is back home. The bad news is that I have an exam tomorrow and I don't feel even close to prepared for it because, you see, it's hard to study when you have to drive 2.5 hours to Indy and then try to study at a hospital. Also, there's no sleeping at the hospital either.
But it isn't all bad. I have wonderfully supportive friends who surprise me with a gift card to my favorite upscale grocery store and an amazing husband who played the part of June Cleaver so that I could study. Oh, and I finally got a job. I figured it would just be easier to go back to waiting tables than to convince people at doctors' offfices that I really, really do want to be a receptionist for a piddly $10/hr. Now I'll make more money and no one asks me about why I left my last job or any of that other crap. And (this is the best part) I got my braces off. I'll post a picture soon...after I get thru these exams this week. I promise.
So, things are looking up. I'm still really sad a lot of the time but there are a lot of good people and good things going on in my life. Yep, things are looking up.
9.08.2007
So hard to say goodbye...
Asia didn't make it. Around midnight this morning she had developed another case of bloat and her condition was so poor that we had to put her to sleep. She was such a great dog and we loved her so much. She was funny and sweet and a really, really good girl. And I just can't believe that Michael and I are here again so soon after Shana. We really thought Asia was out of the woods but I guess she wasn't. It's the nature of bloat and there isn't anything to be done for it. But that doesn't make it any easier.
It's 4:30 in the morning and I can't sleep. How can I sleep now that our baby is gone?
Asia didn't make it. Around midnight this morning she had developed another case of bloat and her condition was so poor that we had to put her to sleep. She was such a great dog and we loved her so much. She was funny and sweet and a really, really good girl. And I just can't believe that Michael and I are here again so soon after Shana. We really thought Asia was out of the woods but I guess she wasn't. It's the nature of bloat and there isn't anything to be done for it. But that doesn't make it any easier.
It's 4:30 in the morning and I can't sleep. How can I sleep now that our baby is gone?
9.06.2007
Since you asked...Here are a couple of photos of Asia. Sorry, Manda, I wasn't able to get one of her wearing the e-collar (that was a disaster).
This is day 2 post op.
This is from Tuesday. She's wearing a UW t-shirt (and getting pus on it - bwah ha ha ha).
This is from yesterday. Just look at that sweet, sweet face.
And this is the get well card that our nephews made for Asia. The little stick man is a self portrait of Lucas. Max's contributions are on the inside of the card. The two of them came up with the idea all by themselves. It was very sweet.
And this is Michael showing the get well card to Asia. I think she was thinking "Go make my food, bitch. I'm starving." That's how I know she's on the mend. That dog has such a potty mouth.
9.04.2007
Day 8
Well, folks, here we are at day 8 post-op. Asia is doing really well except for the open hole in the side of her belly where the catheter used to be. Oh, and the weird pouch of fluid that has collected back near her pee pee (that's my technical term for it) that makes it look like some weirdly stretched out testicle.
In all seriousness, she is doing great. We've had many a sleepless night and we've had to fuss at her because she won't leave the bandage alone and every night at midnight I wake up and she's done something to that damned bandage. Like Saturday night. She chewed, nee, destroyed the bandage and it was hanging around her middle by a piece of medical tape. And then there was the whimpering. So we went to the emergency vet to make sure she didn't cause any permanent damage (there wasn't) and an hour and $83 later walked out with a newly bandaged dog and some pain pills for the inflammation. Did I mention that the inflammation was caused by her chewing off the bandage? Stinker.
Actually, on Saturday we went to the vet twice. As soon as she got home from her first appointment Michael took her outside for a walk and she had a BM causing her bandages to bunch up entirely around her little doggy hips. So....we went right back to have her re-bandaged. And Sunday went well, too except that the lovely folks at the emergency vet used some sort of super duper sticky tape that NASA probably uses to hold bits of the space shuttle together to keep her bandages on and forced me to cut it out of her fur. Now she is sporting a really bad haircut.
Then on Monday she developed a pocket of fluid around the catheter so we called our vet at home and, bless his heart, he had us bring her to his office on Labor Day for a check up. He took out the catheter and cleaned her up and sent us home with a happier dog. Wouldn't you be happy if someone removed a nasty looking catheter from your body? Unfortunately the hole left by the catheter was abscessed so we have to leave it open to drain. We've been managing the seepage (and the licking....you know, dogs really are grody little creatures) by making her wear Michael's t-shirts with a little D@isy Duke tie in the back. I'll post pictures as soon as I can find the cable.
And we went back on Tuesday for another scheduled check up. She's been doing really well....she's eating and she's able to go for a longer walk during the day. And, this is the best part, last night she slept all night without messing with her hole or her weird pocket of fluid. There was much rejoicing. Except for the fact that we were up at 3:30 because Michael had a plane to catch. That lucky bastard gets to go to Vegas for 3 days for a conference and I have to stay at home and hold down the fort. (Love you, honey!) We had a minor setback of retching this morning but luckily she's holding down her food and antibiotics and seems okay. Thankfully my MIL was kind enough to stay with her today while I went to class. What I need now is a vacation. Except that this particular medical emergency cost a few thousand dollars so the only vacations we'll be taking are trips to Lankytown where we can stay with my dad and eat PB&J on the trip out and back.
But she's worth every penny of it. And no doubt the vet can continue to make payments on his snazzy Lexus SUV for many months to come.
Well, folks, here we are at day 8 post-op. Asia is doing really well except for the open hole in the side of her belly where the catheter used to be. Oh, and the weird pouch of fluid that has collected back near her pee pee (that's my technical term for it) that makes it look like some weirdly stretched out testicle.
In all seriousness, she is doing great. We've had many a sleepless night and we've had to fuss at her because she won't leave the bandage alone and every night at midnight I wake up and she's done something to that damned bandage. Like Saturday night. She chewed, nee, destroyed the bandage and it was hanging around her middle by a piece of medical tape. And then there was the whimpering. So we went to the emergency vet to make sure she didn't cause any permanent damage (there wasn't) and an hour and $83 later walked out with a newly bandaged dog and some pain pills for the inflammation. Did I mention that the inflammation was caused by her chewing off the bandage? Stinker.
Actually, on Saturday we went to the vet twice. As soon as she got home from her first appointment Michael took her outside for a walk and she had a BM causing her bandages to bunch up entirely around her little doggy hips. So....we went right back to have her re-bandaged. And Sunday went well, too except that the lovely folks at the emergency vet used some sort of super duper sticky tape that NASA probably uses to hold bits of the space shuttle together to keep her bandages on and forced me to cut it out of her fur. Now she is sporting a really bad haircut.
Then on Monday she developed a pocket of fluid around the catheter so we called our vet at home and, bless his heart, he had us bring her to his office on Labor Day for a check up. He took out the catheter and cleaned her up and sent us home with a happier dog. Wouldn't you be happy if someone removed a nasty looking catheter from your body? Unfortunately the hole left by the catheter was abscessed so we have to leave it open to drain. We've been managing the seepage (and the licking....you know, dogs really are grody little creatures) by making her wear Michael's t-shirts with a little D@isy Duke tie in the back. I'll post pictures as soon as I can find the cable.
And we went back on Tuesday for another scheduled check up. She's been doing really well....she's eating and she's able to go for a longer walk during the day. And, this is the best part, last night she slept all night without messing with her hole or her weird pocket of fluid. There was much rejoicing. Except for the fact that we were up at 3:30 because Michael had a plane to catch. That lucky bastard gets to go to Vegas for 3 days for a conference and I have to stay at home and hold down the fort. (Love you, honey!) We had a minor setback of retching this morning but luckily she's holding down her food and antibiotics and seems okay. Thankfully my MIL was kind enough to stay with her today while I went to class. What I need now is a vacation. Except that this particular medical emergency cost a few thousand dollars so the only vacations we'll be taking are trips to Lankytown where we can stay with my dad and eat PB&J on the trip out and back.
But she's worth every penny of it. And no doubt the vet can continue to make payments on his snazzy Lexus SUV for many months to come.
8.30.2007
Feelin' stressed...
My poor sweet girl is trying to sleep and I'm at home sans Michael and just feelin' stressed. Blarg. I have an interview tomorrow at 9 (receptionist at an eye surgical center) and I don't feel particularly stressed about the interview but more so about starting a new job and school starts next week and Asia has to have that catheter in until Tuesday and Michael leaves for a conference next Wednesday and god I wish he didn't have to go. And I no longer have any closed toe pumps with a slight heel so now I have to go buy some. All my nice pants that I used to wear to work are a little too big now and don't fit quite right so I bought a new pair but they're too long unless I wear heels but you aren't supposed to wear open toe shoes on an interview. And because I've been home all day watching Asia like a hawk with no one to keep me company I think I'm going a little nutty. But did I mention that I'm getting my braces off next week? Catheter out and braces off--there are my silver linings.
My poor sweet girl is trying to sleep and I'm at home sans Michael and just feelin' stressed. Blarg. I have an interview tomorrow at 9 (receptionist at an eye surgical center) and I don't feel particularly stressed about the interview but more so about starting a new job and school starts next week and Asia has to have that catheter in until Tuesday and Michael leaves for a conference next Wednesday and god I wish he didn't have to go. And I no longer have any closed toe pumps with a slight heel so now I have to go buy some. All my nice pants that I used to wear to work are a little too big now and don't fit quite right so I bought a new pair but they're too long unless I wear heels but you aren't supposed to wear open toe shoes on an interview. And because I've been home all day watching Asia like a hawk with no one to keep me company I think I'm going a little nutty. But did I mention that I'm getting my braces off next week? Catheter out and braces off--there are my silver linings.
Not out of the woods yet...
Well, we've had a pretty eventful couple of days around here. At the moment Asia is resting (passed out is more like it) in the living room and I'm trying to quietly keep myself busy while keeping an eye on her at all times.
Last night we took her to the emergency vet clinic to spend the night just because Michael and I are so ill-equipped to care for her at home so early in the recovery process. Yesterday she had to be rushed to the vet for some IV fluids and to have her catheter drained. What makes this so tough is that gas builds up inside the stomach as the stomach slowly gets back to normal and we periodically have to open the cath to get the gas out. Well, we weren't getting any gas and she was growing steadily more uncomfortable and becoming distressed. And then we went home but once we got there a thunderstorm was brewing and it was too difficult to know if she was pacing and panting because of the storm (her usual behavior besides trying to tear our house apart) or because she couldn't breath because of gas build up. So our vet called the emergency vet to fill her in on what was going on and Asia got professional treatment all night long.
And here I am sitting at home with her watching her to make sure she's doing okay and dreading having to wake her up in 30 minutes to expel some gas. It took her so long to go back to sleep the last time I did it that I hate to wake her. See, this is why we can't have kids. I would be a totally and insanely neurotic parent. All I have thought about for the last 48 hours is this dog and her well-being. She's as close to a kid as we're planning to get and it kills me that she's in pain and uncomfortable and there's little but time that can help her. Blarg. The vets said that the first 3 days are the hardest and tomorrow is day 3 so hopefully we can get through that and by then Michael will be home with me for 3 days to help play nurse. Thanks to all of you for keeping us in your thoughts:>
Well, we've had a pretty eventful couple of days around here. At the moment Asia is resting (passed out is more like it) in the living room and I'm trying to quietly keep myself busy while keeping an eye on her at all times.
Last night we took her to the emergency vet clinic to spend the night just because Michael and I are so ill-equipped to care for her at home so early in the recovery process. Yesterday she had to be rushed to the vet for some IV fluids and to have her catheter drained. What makes this so tough is that gas builds up inside the stomach as the stomach slowly gets back to normal and we periodically have to open the cath to get the gas out. Well, we weren't getting any gas and she was growing steadily more uncomfortable and becoming distressed. And then we went home but once we got there a thunderstorm was brewing and it was too difficult to know if she was pacing and panting because of the storm (her usual behavior besides trying to tear our house apart) or because she couldn't breath because of gas build up. So our vet called the emergency vet to fill her in on what was going on and Asia got professional treatment all night long.
And here I am sitting at home with her watching her to make sure she's doing okay and dreading having to wake her up in 30 minutes to expel some gas. It took her so long to go back to sleep the last time I did it that I hate to wake her. See, this is why we can't have kids. I would be a totally and insanely neurotic parent. All I have thought about for the last 48 hours is this dog and her well-being. She's as close to a kid as we're planning to get and it kills me that she's in pain and uncomfortable and there's little but time that can help her. Blarg. The vets said that the first 3 days are the hardest and tomorrow is day 3 so hopefully we can get through that and by then Michael will be home with me for 3 days to help play nurse. Thanks to all of you for keeping us in your thoughts:>
8.29.2007
Always trust your instincts...
If I hadn't Asia might have died. Fck. Yesterday Asia very suddenly developed bloat. For those of you who have read "Marley & Me" this is what Marley has near the end of the book. But thankfully I was at home when it happened and the vets were able to see us right away and they saved our baby girl. The scary thing about bloat is that it happens suddenly and needs to be treated immediately or the animal dies. And sometimes the animal dies anyway.
But thanks to Dr. Fournier and Dr. Shaffer Asia is now at home and trying to rest. She's not out of the woods yet but she's doing a lot better and thankfully I can be home during her recovery.
I just feel so bad for her--she can't seem to catch a break. Between the allergy problems, heart worms, tooth extractions, general weirdness and now this...she just can't get ahead. But like Shana, we love this dog like a kid and we would go to the ends of the earth for her. She has been so brave through all of this and I just hope she will have an uneventful recovery.
If I hadn't Asia might have died. Fck. Yesterday Asia very suddenly developed bloat. For those of you who have read "Marley & Me" this is what Marley has near the end of the book. But thankfully I was at home when it happened and the vets were able to see us right away and they saved our baby girl. The scary thing about bloat is that it happens suddenly and needs to be treated immediately or the animal dies. And sometimes the animal dies anyway.
But thanks to Dr. Fournier and Dr. Shaffer Asia is now at home and trying to rest. She's not out of the woods yet but she's doing a lot better and thankfully I can be home during her recovery.
I just feel so bad for her--she can't seem to catch a break. Between the allergy problems, heart worms, tooth extractions, general weirdness and now this...she just can't get ahead. But like Shana, we love this dog like a kid and we would go to the ends of the earth for her. She has been so brave through all of this and I just hope she will have an uneventful recovery.
8.27.2007
A trip down memory lane...
As most of you know, Michael is still looking for a new job and that has been the dark cloud of gloom that has been hanging over us since last September. No, he doesn't have any job leads at this time but we're doing the best we can to keep moving in a forward direction. Part of that means we've decided to consult with one of our neighbors who is a realtor and who specializes in historic districts (especially ours) and she is going to come out and help us figure out what we could be doing NOW to get our house ready to go on the market should Michael get a job offer out of the area. I'm sure that the big list of things to do will make us feel a little nutty and overwhelmed but ultimately it gives us something to do that's productive and will make the whole moving thing a little easier.
And even tho we might not actually have to move, the job market here for people like Michael isn't ideal so we will, in all likelihood, have to move. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. So, yesterday we spent a couple of hours cleaning out our junk room, I mean guest room, and made our pile of books to sell and the pile of stuff for G00dwill and the pile of trash, etc. And we cleaned out a lot of stuff and it felt good to go through it. Not only will it make the future possibility of packing easier but I also feel like we did a good job of dejunkifying the room. And while we were in there I found all of our wedding stuff: extra invitations (can you say homemade x-mas cards--by god I am NOT going to throw them away), cards, receipts, my slip. And then I found the video of my high school graduation. And the day planner from my senior year of college. And the dog resumes Ang made for Shana. And tons and tons of cards and notes from all of my fabulous friends. It was fun to see all those funny little notes and all the different addresses where I've lived over the last 6 years. There were pictures and ticket stubs and the program from V@gina Weekend. And then I found the folder of stuff the Hum@ne League of Lankytown gave me on the day I adopted Shana. That part was really sad but overall it was a happy little trip down memory lane and it reminded me of how lucky I am to have such funny, amazing, super-smart and fabulous women (and dogs) in my life. That reminder is exactly what I needed.
As most of you know, Michael is still looking for a new job and that has been the dark cloud of gloom that has been hanging over us since last September. No, he doesn't have any job leads at this time but we're doing the best we can to keep moving in a forward direction. Part of that means we've decided to consult with one of our neighbors who is a realtor and who specializes in historic districts (especially ours) and she is going to come out and help us figure out what we could be doing NOW to get our house ready to go on the market should Michael get a job offer out of the area. I'm sure that the big list of things to do will make us feel a little nutty and overwhelmed but ultimately it gives us something to do that's productive and will make the whole moving thing a little easier.
And even tho we might not actually have to move, the job market here for people like Michael isn't ideal so we will, in all likelihood, have to move. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. So, yesterday we spent a couple of hours cleaning out our junk room, I mean guest room, and made our pile of books to sell and the pile of stuff for G00dwill and the pile of trash, etc. And we cleaned out a lot of stuff and it felt good to go through it. Not only will it make the future possibility of packing easier but I also feel like we did a good job of dejunkifying the room. And while we were in there I found all of our wedding stuff: extra invitations (can you say homemade x-mas cards--by god I am NOT going to throw them away), cards, receipts, my slip. And then I found the video of my high school graduation. And the day planner from my senior year of college. And the dog resumes Ang made for Shana. And tons and tons of cards and notes from all of my fabulous friends. It was fun to see all those funny little notes and all the different addresses where I've lived over the last 6 years. There were pictures and ticket stubs and the program from V@gina Weekend. And then I found the folder of stuff the Hum@ne League of Lankytown gave me on the day I adopted Shana. That part was really sad but overall it was a happy little trip down memory lane and it reminded me of how lucky I am to have such funny, amazing, super-smart and fabulous women (and dogs) in my life. That reminder is exactly what I needed.
8.17.2007
Living the single life...
As most of you know, Michael has been on a sailing trip for the last 7 days and will be returning home tomorrow night. So, all week long I have been living like a single person and doing things that I don't normally do. Like, say, watching a lot of t.v. By my standards, it's a lot of t.v. And eating junk instead of cooking real meals for dinner. You know, eating D0ritos for lunch. D0ritos aren't lunch. You might eat them with a sandwich at lunch but no. I ate just that for lunch. What is wrong with me?
I did study. I did. And I did some laundry and bought groceries. I was somewhat productive. And after my final on Wed. night I just did nothing. I laid around, read books, and ate D0ritos. And today I took Asia to the vet to have her teeth cleaned (and have 6 teeth pulled--I swear that dog has got to be the one to get a PT job) and then ran errands. And I wasn't a total bum--I have gotten up by 7:30 every day which is sleeping in at my house.
And now the lazy party is over. Michael returns tomorrow and starting Monday the search for a PT job begins. And finishing the kitchen. Stupid kitchen. I can't believe I let myself be this lazy. I never do this. Maybe that's the problem. I don't let myself be lazy often enough and I just went hog wild. Oh, hell.
As most of you know, Michael has been on a sailing trip for the last 7 days and will be returning home tomorrow night. So, all week long I have been living like a single person and doing things that I don't normally do. Like, say, watching a lot of t.v. By my standards, it's a lot of t.v. And eating junk instead of cooking real meals for dinner. You know, eating D0ritos for lunch. D0ritos aren't lunch. You might eat them with a sandwich at lunch but no. I ate just that for lunch. What is wrong with me?
I did study. I did. And I did some laundry and bought groceries. I was somewhat productive. And after my final on Wed. night I just did nothing. I laid around, read books, and ate D0ritos. And today I took Asia to the vet to have her teeth cleaned (and have 6 teeth pulled--I swear that dog has got to be the one to get a PT job) and then ran errands. And I wasn't a total bum--I have gotten up by 7:30 every day which is sleeping in at my house.
And now the lazy party is over. Michael returns tomorrow and starting Monday the search for a PT job begins. And finishing the kitchen. Stupid kitchen. I can't believe I let myself be this lazy. I never do this. Maybe that's the problem. I don't let myself be lazy often enough and I just went hog wild. Oh, hell.
8.13.2007
All kinds of wrong...
This is me not studying for my final because 1.) I'm a procrastinator and 2.) this is still really bothering me.
On Monday, I'm sitting in chem lab and there are 2 groups of 4 students at each table. A girl, we'll call her Insensitive Asshole or IA for short, sitting in a group at the far end of the lab bench is talking about her work study job on campus. She was talking about how she has to index some papers that apparently list all of the HIV positive students on campus and she was lamenting the fact that the students' names were blacked out with marker. She said "Believe me, if I could see through that marker, I would go look up all of them on F@cebook so I can see what they look like. I want to know who they are." And then she went on to talk about how the stack of papers was about 2" thick of names of students with HIV.
And I was so...surprised...and disgusted by her comments but I didn't what to say. So often I'm sitting in class and hear the other students talk about things that, um, highlight their immaturity. And I just ignore them because they are young and immature and, hey, they aren't having a conversation with me. But this crossed the line and I just sat there totally stunned by her insensitivity and asshole-ness. So, dear people of the internets, what would you have done?
This is me not studying for my final because 1.) I'm a procrastinator and 2.) this is still really bothering me.
On Monday, I'm sitting in chem lab and there are 2 groups of 4 students at each table. A girl, we'll call her Insensitive Asshole or IA for short, sitting in a group at the far end of the lab bench is talking about her work study job on campus. She was talking about how she has to index some papers that apparently list all of the HIV positive students on campus and she was lamenting the fact that the students' names were blacked out with marker. She said "Believe me, if I could see through that marker, I would go look up all of them on F@cebook so I can see what they look like. I want to know who they are." And then she went on to talk about how the stack of papers was about 2" thick of names of students with HIV.
And I was so...surprised...and disgusted by her comments but I didn't what to say. So often I'm sitting in class and hear the other students talk about things that, um, highlight their immaturity. And I just ignore them because they are young and immature and, hey, they aren't having a conversation with me. But this crossed the line and I just sat there totally stunned by her insensitivity and asshole-ness. So, dear people of the internets, what would you have done?
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