I can't take it anymore.

I just can't. No more holiday. No more cleaning house. No mother coming into town for the holidays. No more b.s. at work. Seriously. I think I might have a heart attack from it all.

I hate everybody. Except you. I love you.

I'm not sure I can wait that long!

All moved in....

Well, mostly moved in. There are a few boxes that have yet to be unpacked, but I haven't gotten around to them yet. And we need to clean. The house is dusty, furry and has tinsel bits and tree needles everywhere. I love my new house but there is so much more square feet to de-clutter and clean than when I had my apartment. Poor me, right?

But since my mom is coming in 4 days, and the next 2 have already been scheduled, it looks like tonight is my night to clean out the spare bedroom and get some sheets on the bed. And finish up with Mt. Laundry. Who knew two people could have so much dirty laundry? With so much to do, Michael and I work all weekend and I have to go to the office just to sit down. How sad.

You know what I want for X-mas? I want a whole day off with nothing to do but read and take a long bubble bath and take naps in between. That's what I want for X-mas. Dear Santa, if you're reading this, I want a day to do nothing more than anything.

We just saw each other...

so there isn't much to report. I had a wonderful Thanksgiving with all of you and can't wait to see everyone again. It might not be until February, but no doubt the time will fly by.

Moving day is this Saturday and I will be emailing my new info to you shortly. I'm really looking forward to being in a house and living in sin, but I know I'll miss having a space that's just mine. A space where I pay the rent and can do whatever I please. A space where the mess is mine and mine alone and I know where everything is (it might be buried in a pile on my kitchen table, but see, it's my stuff in my pile on my kitchen table) and if I don't feel like vacuuming up all the dog fur I'm the only one who would be bothered. This is not to say that I can't do these things at Michael's but we'll have the mess of two people and I'm more conscious about the fur with someone else around. Of course, sharing a house means that we'll both have to be a little more tidy and that's a good thing.

It's been almost two years since I've shared a house with another person, and while I might occasionally miss living alone, I'm looking forward to this new adventure.

I'm dreaming of a white....wedding dress?

I have, in fact, had two dreams since Sunday about wedding dresses and they were all white. I'd almost rather dream about being at work...

So, I find myself in a bit of a quandary. When I first started thinking about my wedding attire, I was thinking something red. So, I did a little research and did a little shopping and found that if I wanted a red dress I would have to: have one made; buy an expensive gown made with natural silk that could be dyed; buy a bridesmaid dress; have one made. So, I go shopping last weekend with my mother and I try on, oh, 30 dresses in two days. God, they are so heavy. Anyway, I find two I like but one of them is out of my price range (and only comes in ivory). And the other only comes in white or ivory. I ask if I could have it dyed and was told that synthetic materials won't take dye very well and the final product would turn out streaky and could bleed on to other people's clothes. And I'd be out $500 for the dress plus the cost of dyeing it if the dress didn't turn out well.

So I sleep on it. And...I really like this dress. But it's not red. I'm a non-traditional person who planned to wear a non-traditional dress but then I found myself liking a traditional same-color-family-as-white-dress. Does this mean I'm not the radical feminist I thought I was? Why the hell do I care so much about this? And why can't dress designers make dresses in other colors?!?

But then I found this website and this dress. So maybe there is hope for me to find a beautiful wedding-y dress in red that 1.) doesn't cost an arm and a leg and 2.) isn't a dress you'd find at a Renaissance Fair or modeled after the dress Arwen wore in LOTR.

I voted for Kerry and I live in Ohio...

I'm so depressed. And the state I now call home totally fcked up. I really thought that there were more people out there who could see through four years of lies and a cavalier cowboy attitude that has resulted in the deaths of thousands of innocent people. And since when did denying gays and lesbians the right to marry qualify as a high moral value? Because last time I checked, intolerance sure doesn't cut it.

I am so afraid for this country...what are we going to do?

GBC 2004: A conversation with my 13 year-old self

Where to begin? First of all, don't pay any attention to the mean girls crap your friends have pulled (and will continue to until 10th grade) on you all this time b/c next year you are going to meet some awesome new friends who will remain steadfast and loyal 10+ years down the road.

And, yes, your boobs will finally grow. And someday you will look back on the pictures you took one night the summer you were 14--you know, the pictures you and Angie took after the two of you stuffed your bras with socks--and realize that your boobs are now the very size as you with your 14 year-old self with a bra full of socks. And you will find yourself wishing the boob fairy hadn't been quite so generous.

Boys. Hmph. Well, boys will cause you much pain and sorrow, but you will have a number of happy times before they systematically turn into a-holes. And men. In about 5 years, you are going to start dating much older men. Don't do it! Don't even think about it! But that's a story for 18 year-old Kelly. Anyway, boys are rotten brats at 13, so don't pay any attention to them.

Now for the biggie. Do well in school. A good education is very important, and believe it or not, doing well as early as jr. high is key. Make yourself study and don't let fear of admitting that you don't understand something get in the way of learning. And don't pay attention to Matthew. His intelligence is wasted on him.

Lastly, try to enjoy every moment of not having tons of homework or a job after school b/c in a few short years, you'll have both and you'll realize how precious free-time really is.

Thankfully, being 13 only happens once...The road ahead is often bumpy and a bit crazy, but you'll do just fine.

A dutiful (and highly concerned) daughter...

That's me. Michael and I are leaving around lunchtime today to drive up to Chicago and visit my mom in the hospital. She'd doing fine--or as fine as you can be after being cut open from breast to mid-thigh during her aortobifemoral bypass. I'll keep you posted on her recovery.

Missing all of you dearly and I'll be in touch soon.

A little bit of everything...

Most of you already know that the past few weeks have been pretty crazy for me. Between my job, mom, dog, brother, etc., I feel like I'm going a bit nuts. They changed my mom's double bypass operation 3 times in 3 days. Yes, you read that correctly: 3 times in 3 days. WTF?!? Angie managed to keep me from calling the doctor myself and blasting him for all the screw ups, so now I am gong to calmly write a letter to him detailing all the screw ups and let him know that I expect my mother to receive the best care possible going forward. In the meantime, she's receiving 70% of her pay while on short-term disability and every time her surgery gets pushed back, that hurts her financially.

The dog. Shana's arthritis is acting up lately. The vet thinks it's probably due in part to the weather change. Or maybe it's b/c Shana decides she should run around the house like a maniac and hurts her knee in the process. And this week's issue involves impacted anal sacs. I'll just leave it at that. No need to set off anyone's gag reflex over that one (including my own). The issue is being resolved and all is well in that area. Or will be shortly.

My brother. Hmph. Can't seem to be bothered to spend some time with my mother even tho he's only an hour by train to be with her. Meanwhile, I'm a minimum of 5.5 hours away and who knows what construction crap is going on between here and there.

My job. Our big fundraising efforts take place in September and October. Right now we are about $400,000 short of the goal we announced to the community. There are a lot of reasons for this projected shortfall and unfortunately, there is very little staff can do to close the gap. Fundraising is hard. Duh, I know. But it's hard not to take things personally when you know you've done the best you can do and still the companies with which you work don't raise as much money as expected. Or when your volunteers bail out...sigh.... A few more weeks and we'll announce what we raised and it will be time to start thinking about the next campaign.

Wedding planning. Well, not a whole lot going on there. Michael and I have been so busy lately and with my mom's surgery date changing all the time, we've had difficulty finding the time to make appointments with vendors. We still have a little more than 12 months to go, but I want to get the vendors taken care of as soon as we can.

So, that's pretty much it. Thanks to all of you for being so supportive and offering a sympathetic ear. I'm sure things will start to look up soon:>

Best birthday in a really, really long time!

A big, huge thank you to all my friends and family (not that they ever read my blog or can figure out how to get on the internet without shutting down the computer...sigh...a story for another time) who made my day so very special! Mwah!

Creepy, scary cult and the blinding light...

One hell of a statue. I've been meaning to post a picture of this for some time (so instead I'll provide a handy link), but it's hard to drive and take a picture at the same time. Not to mention unsafe. And since the dog lacks opposable thumbs, she can't work the camera either;> Anyway, when Amanda was in town last weekend, we had her take some pictures as we drove south toward Cincinnati for Oktoberfest (pictures of the scary Jesus statue and Amanda and Kelly wearing chicken hats to follow soon). No matter how hard you try to describe what a 42' statue of Jesus looks like, it's never the same as when you see it for yourself. And being the heathens that we are, we talked about taking pictures of ourselves with the statue growing out of our heads (a la pictures with the W@shington Monument sticking out of our heads) but it would have been very difficult to merge back on to the highway. And unsafe.

So, for those of you who might think there's nothing to do in Ohio, let me assure you, there are big scary statues of Jesus and camouflage chicken hats that will provide hours....well, minutes, I suppose, of entertainment. Come out for a visit! It'll be fun, I promise.

*Onions*

I bought a bag of onions yesterday. Now, this probably doesn't seem like a particularly remarkable event, but for me, buying an entire 3 lb. bag of onions means having reached another stage of adulthood. Adulthood has been a big theme here of late, mostly due to my recent foray into adult issues like financial planning, marriage and now parental health issues. All by my choice, mind you. Well, except for the parental health stuff. I could do without that issue...

Anyway, I'm at the grocery store last night and I need to buy an onion, and they have a bin of really huge onions that I can purchase by unit, or I can buy a 3 lb. bag of smaller ones, which better suits my purpose, but means I have to buy the whole bag. So I look at the price. The 3lb. bag is cheaper than an individual sweet yellow onion (that probably weighs 2 lbs. it's that big) so I put the bag of onions in my cart. And as I am walking through the aisles, I'm reminded of a time when I was little and I thought that willingly putting onions in your food meant you were an adult. See, I wasn't a big fan of onions (most kids aren't) then, and my mom seemed to put a lot in everything we ate. So much so that we were convinced that the meatloaf she prepared had more onions in it than ground beef. Same with the stuffing at T-giving. Even my dad commented that there were too many onions in the meatloaf and he was an adult.

But I digress. So, there I am at the store with a whole bag of onions in my cart. I put them in there, I paid for them and then I took them home with the idea that I will someday use them in my cooking. How did I get here? When did I become a person who sort of likes onions (I still don't like big huge chunks of them and I don't eat them on everything)? And when did I become a person who buys a whole bag of them?

Can I go home now?

Goodness. I just got here and already I want to go home. Part of it is that I have so much to do at work that I just don't know where to start (so I'll blog instead) and the other part is that it is a cool, rainy day that would be much better spent on my couch with a book and my dog and a cup of coffee in hand. The urge to take a mental health day was very real this morning.

Anyway, things have been busy around here. Work, social obligations, a never ending pile of laundry, just to name a few. But none of this stuff is even remotely interesting enough to post here. I don't have any epiphanies to report on, exciting trips to mention or fabulous work opportunities with which to make you all envious (even if it means running with the elephants). Just regular life stuff, despite the business of it all.

Perhaps on Monday I'll have something more interesting to mention. Michael and I will receive the final version of our financial plan (duh, duh, DUH!!!!) tomorrow, so maybe there will be something more post-worthy from that experience.

Thank you and don't forget to Vote for...Cheney?

No, not Cheney, Change. Vote for Change. Michael and I spent a few hours volunteering with America Coming Together on Saturday and we were calling registered Democrats who are elegible to vote by absentee ballot (mostly people age 62+) and before we hung up, the script said "Thank you for your time and don't forget to Vote for Change on November 2nd." And one man I was talking to couldn't hear me very well and he thought I was telling him to vote for Cheney. No, not Cheney. Change. We only made calls for a couple of hours but I'm sure we'll continue to do things like that up until the election. I'm toying with the idea of taking the day off work on election day so I can volunteer at the polls. Maybe a half day b/c election day is only 2 days after our campaign closes and I'll still be running around like a chicken with its head cut off. One thing's for sure--I won't forget to vote for change.

The Fummer Returns....Home

I'm back from my very short vacation in Michigan with Michael and his family and back to the grind at work. I only have a minute to write, but as nice as my vacation was (and it was very, very nice), it's good to be home again. Home with my dog, home where there is cell phone reception and a bathroom that I don't have to share with anyone (except for Michael when he stays with me).

We went sailing, participated in a sail boat race (missed first place by just a hair), made s'mores, read a book, laid in the sand, went swimming, and climbed a big sand mountain (they call it a "dune" but it was definitely a mountain). Very relaxing and enjoyable...

Must dash, but I will try to get a link to some pictures here soon (I'm not sure that we took that many, now that I think about it...).

What's in a name?

Well, everything, if you ask me. And since this is my blog, my opinion reigns supreme here--bwah-ha-ha!

Last week I was helping some co-workers assemble a mailing to some of our rich-y rich donors and I noticed that many of the invitations were addressed to Mr. & Mrs. Man's First Name Man's Last name. I commented that I was so surprised to see that since Mr. Man's First Name & Mrs. Woman's First Name Man's Surname is more common and not as egregiously patriarchal as the first option. This comment sparked a discussion about name changes and was I going to take Michael's last name when we marry. When I said that I wouldn't dream of changing my name, someone commented "Oh, you're one of THEM." Them? Who the hell is "them?" If by "them," you mean someone who doesn't feel bound by the patriarchal tradition of changing one's name to her husband's, then I guess I am one of "them."

Changing your name or not changing your name is a deeply personal decision and each woman (and some men) has to do what is right for her. For me, changing my name would mean losing my identity. I have been K.A.S. for the last 26+ years (28 by the time we get hitched) and my name is just as much a part of me as anything else. I will be K.A.S. for the rest of my life. Michael taking my name or both of us adopting a new name is not really an option as neither one of us wants to change our names. And hyphenation is so not an option. Our names combined are just way too comical, even if we wanted to consider it.

So, after I state my case for not changing my name, I get the "But what about the kids?" question. What about them? Who said we were going to have any? Why do we all have to have the same name? Why do we have to decide right now especially since he/she isn't even a twinkle in my eye? That is a decision to be made when we need to fill out the birth certificate. In, oh, about 5 years. Or more.

The most recent study I read showed that fewer than 20% of women change their names after marriage, but still 20% is nothing to sneeze at. It's approximately 1/5 of all married women, so it's not like keeping my name is all that uncommon, like Lucy Stone keeping her name in the mid-1800's. Although, it's not like I didn't expect people to be surprised (not sure if that's the word I'm looking for), but I guess I didn't expect people to care so much. And it will only get worse as we get closer to actually being married (which is still over a year away). Durr....

Back at the ranch...

The bad thing about vacation is that all this work piles up in your absence and at times it seems like vacation only makes life harder, not easier and more pleasant.  This is not to say that our 4-day weekend in Rehoboth wasn't lovely or pleasant.  Actually, it was very good, and I got to see my favorite people all in one place (except for Hefk--we missed you), eat some really bad stuff (by bad I mean oozing with cheese or fried or sprinkled with powdered sugar), and spend some quality time on the beach with 5 lbs. of sand in my bathing suit. 

But, boy was I tired when we got home!  So we had a low-key weekend and spent some quality time taking naps, going on walks and cooking meals.  Very relaxing.  And now it's Monday (and thank goodness the day is almost over) and here I am at work with a million things to do and never feeling like I can catch up with all of it.  Such is life during campaign season.  I do have a new admin., and I'm very excited about her.  So far, anyway.  She has a great attitude and is smart and good with computers.  Especially navigating our database.  This makes me very happy and reduces my stress level significantly.  Keep your fingers crossed that she works out okay;>

So, that's about it.  Thank you to everyone for a wonderful vacation and I look forward to seeing as many of you as possible over Thanksgiving!

A little of this, and a little of that

I really should be doing something work-related, but I'm going to take a few minutes and catch up on some stuff I haven't had time to talk about.

1. I got engaged! We don't have a date yet, but will keep everyone posted. It would help if one of the sites we're interested in would be open when they say they're going to be... Aside from that, I couldn't be happier and I know I couldn't find a better man than Michael.

2. The John-John show last week was awesome! Even though we were standing pretty far from the stage, I was occasionally able to stand on the base of a lamp post (with Michael to help keep me from slipping off) to see, but mostly I was trying to stand on my toes and hope that people with hats and kids on their shoulders would stop moving into my field of vision. And, luckily, I only got one small patch of sunburn. All in all, a very worthwhile experience and I'm glad I took a half day from work to check it out. As for their message, it wasn't anything I haven't heard them say on the news or anything else: roll back the tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans, increase the number of jobs, increase aid for college tuition, etc. I think Edwards complements Kerry very well and I feel hopeful that we can take the White House.

3. I saw the Pants on Fire mobile a couple of weeks ago when it was in town. Not as many people showed up as I had expected, but then it hadn't been advertised much. Still, it was fun and we got ice cream! And in a conservative town like Cinti, it's even more fun b/c there are more conservatives to piss off around here;>

4. The beach. 5 more days. Crabs to pick, sand in my bathing suit, 4 days with my favorite people all in one place (we'll miss you Hefk). I couldn't be more excited!

Oh dear goddess...

Amish in the City

I'm speechless.

No time to blog

I have exactly one minute to blog and then I have to get some work done. Who knew that getting *engaged* would create such a hoo-ha at the office such that you can't get any work done? But, no time to talk about that right now, I need to get some work done before I go into a 3.5 hour long meeting followed by a meeting at and then running home to grab the dog and driving to Dayton. And while the *fiance* lives in Dayton, the reason I'm leaving work in the middle of the day to go up there is because Kerry and Edwards are going to be there this afternoon for a rally. I really need to stay at the office so I don't get my @ss kicked tomorrow for not getting my work done, but this opportunity doesn't present itself very often. I'll report back tomorrow...If I haven't had my @ss kicked first;>