So inappropriate...

That's me. I'm at the philharmonic with my husband and in-laws and the composer du jour was Holst. So the arrangement was, you guessed it, The Planets. And I was looking at the program and saw "Uranus, the Magician" and, because I'm immature and crass, began to giggle silently during the performance. I giggled at least halfway through the movement and they were the kind of silent giggles where your body shakes because you're trying so hard not to laugh out loud. And because I'm trying hard not to giggle because it would be inappropriate to giggle like that while at the philharmonic, I only giggle harder and nearly choke on a Halls. I can't tell you why that was funny...it's such a Beavis & Butthead thing to laugh at but there's something about being somewhere where you have to behave yourself that makes you want to be bad. Yep, that's me, all class.

My New Hero...

On a more positive note, Michael and I had the opportunity to attend a lecture on Wednesday featuring Dr. Bernard Kouchner, founder of Doctors Without Borders. His stories helped me put a little perspective on my own personal issues (I'm still feeling very anti-nonprofit but that soon will pass) and my general feelings about this ugly world in which we live. It's nice to know that there are still people out there who are committed to helping others and doing right by humanity. And maybe, after I'm done with nursing school, I might have the privilege to be a part of this very important work.

Crossroads, continued...

Well, I really am leaving my job (finally--I'm such a sucker) and this time I'm really ready to go and I am not even going to miss that place. The people (some of them), yes but not the company and not the work. I have worked in the non-profit field for the past 5 years and here I am already burned out on it. And the tough part is that the job I have now was supposed to be my dream job. And it wasn't. At all.

So, it's time to move on and I'll be spending my summer up to my eyeballs in chemistry and microbiology and any other courses I can get into. I'm applying for a part time receptionist job at doctor's office so that I can still bring in a little bit of money while working in a place that will look better on my application to nursing school. And will be the kind of job that is done at the end of the day. No more taking work home to do at night or on weekends and no more going in on my day off.

I think I've decided that it's much better to work at a job that pays more money and therefore you have more money to give to charity than it is to work for a non-profit. Not that it's always about the money--if it was I would have never gone into non-profit in the first place. But, there's something about this sector that really turns you off. I don't know if it's the fact that office politics are the same as in the corporate world...or there are too many people who get promoted to positions for which they're not qualified b/c it would cost more money to bring in an outside person who will demand a higher salary...or if it's that you work your ass off and there's never a bonus, you don't get more days off and you get a minuscule raise (if you get a raise at all). Non-profit sucks the life out of you and for what?

I'm tired of this "for the good of the community" bullshit. I'm at a point in my life where I want to do something I love instead of taking a job b/c I'm desperate for work. I want to make what I'm worth. I want a job that when the day is done, I don't take it home with me. I might think about it after I leave but I don't take actual, physical work home. I want a job that makes a difference in the lives of others but I want to be the direct service provider instead of the one who helps raise money so the provider can serve the agency's clients. I want a job where the upper-level management doesn't talk out of both sides of their mouths (like that one is going to happen) telling you how wonderful you are one minute and trashing you the second you've left the room.

I'm going to look for that job when I'm out of nursing school and I hope I find it. And on June 1st? I'm going to leave all this shit behind me.

At a crossroads....again.

Hmm...I think I may be too tired to write this post so instead I leave you with this. Happy Taxes!

Meme-ariffic!

If Michael had a blog I would have tapped him for a meme but he doesn't so, like the meme he did on me, I'm going to do one on him. So, here are 6 weird things about my husband, the Tall Man:

• His total willingness to talk to strangers in public/make faces at children who are in line ahead of us at the grocery store. I really don't understand this one.

• Male Pattern Blindess. Need I say more?
  

• He almost never puts salt on his food or uses it when cooking. In fact, when we first met, he didn't have a salt and pepper shaker. If he needed salt or pepper, he'd go get the big Morton's salt canister or the McCormick's pepper tin out of the pantry. Nothing like salting your food with the pour spout in a canister of salt.

• Total lack of understanding about why you can't wear a brown belt with black shoes. Or wearing a tan shirt with tan pants (desert fatigues anyone?). Or pleated pants. I hate pleated pants. In fact, our very first fight was about pleated pants.
  

• Even when he's cold, he won't put on a long sleeve shirt. He'll just be cold.
  

• Total aversion to body products that aren't toothpaste, deoderant, Pert Plus and Irish Spring. God forbid he have to use a bar of Olay soap in the shower. Or (gasp) use conditioner. Conditioner! Perish the thought!
  

Six weird things about, my wife, the Fummer.
(Guest blogged by The Tall Man)

1) Her freakish sense of smell. (Accompanied by many conversations like "Do you smell that?" "Smell what?" "I can't believe you can't smell that!"

2) The oft repeated dance of "Something's touching me!" followed by an intense search for the culpable wisp of dog fur, her hair or a loose thread. The compulsion is so strong that it could not even be contained on our first date.

3) Any joke containing the magic words "poo", "ass" or "fart" in the punch line is implicitly hilarious. Bonus points if it includes all three.

4) A breathtaking ability to swing from a great mood to full wrath and back in five seconds.

5) Her desire to rush over to any dog and befriend it, compared to her complete ambivalence to children.

6) Despite needing to hold my hand and repeat "Orcs eating doughnuts... orcs eating doughnuts" when we actively watch the movies, she will turn on the Lord of Rings movies for background noise while studying.

Detox Diet - Day 1, or why the hell am I doing this to myself?

So, my anatomy professor has mentioned detoxifying diets a few times in class and so...well, I decided I'd like to do a little experiment and try one out. Except there's way too many diets from which to choose so I put together something that's a little bit of a couple of different diets. And because I'm the one who cooks (and grocery shops) in our house, my wonderful husband gets to try this fun experiment with me (love you, honey).

So, basically we're doing 7 days of all veg, no dairy, no processed foods (except canned tomatoes and beans), no sugar and no caffeine. Really, I just want to see if I feel any different after this is over. I'm not sure I'm really detoxifying anything since I'm not doing any of the weird shit the books tell you to do like drinking room-temperature water with half a lemon squeezed into it. Not that lemon water is all that weird but I HATE lemon water with a passion. Nasty stuff. And room temperature? What's with that? But, one of the books recommends having a clinician inject you with pregnancy hormones. WTF? Anyway, I'm not drinking any weird concoctions or juicing my own veg...I'm just taking a break from processed foods, dairy and caffeine. The caffeine headache has been the worst part but there's only 6 more days to go!

Procrastination...

Back when I was in undergrad my procrastination activities included the following: watching syndicated reruns of Fr@sier and the Simps0n's, playing Sn00d, reading H@rry P0tter books, calling BANG! long-distance in London and/or taking a nap. Now, it looks more like this: reading blogs, maybe updating my own blog, cooking dinner, cleaning house, walking the dog, taking a nap (this really only happens when I'm sick, like today), doing laundry and/or running errands. Seriously, procrastination was much more fun when I was in undergrad.

Not that I should complain. My fabulous husband makes it possible for me to work part time while taking classes (alas paid for by the very tricksy tuition remission benefit) but procrastination when I need to be studying or writing a paper just isn't as enjoyable as it used to be. Especially when I'm an adult now with a house to look after. And, seriously? How do women with kids do this? How do they raise a family, look after a household and work? And what about the ones who do all that AND go to school? I am so in awe of the women who do that. Because you know what? I don't think I have that in me.

That being said, I guess I better get back to my schoolwork.

Happy Anniversary!

March 7, 2006 was the day we brought Asia home from the Humane Society and into our lives. And now one year (plus a few days...I swear I meant to post this on the 7th) later here we are. It's been a long year of contractors tramping thru the house and making lots of racket while she tried to sleep, monthly visits to the vet for cortisone injections, a very expensive visit to the doggy dermatologist for allergy testing and thrice-weekly allergy injections, her first X-mas with us, trips to Lankytown and a very scary bout with heartworms (still not in the clear yet but she's almost there!) but it has been a wonderful year of her sweet doggy self in our lives. And I just wanted to share our joy with the internets because nothing is as wonderful as coming home to find her waiting at the door.

Holding my breath and crossing my fingers...

But no jinxes.

Feeling homesick...

Homesickness for something - a place, a time, I don't know - is rapidly becoming a theme here. I'll be brief this time and just note that 2nd Annual Fun Girl Weekend was a blast and just like last year I came home and promptly dissolved into tears (read bawling) over missing my friends, wanting my mom and dad (seriously, who does that? I'm too old to want my mom and dad anymore. What the hell is wrong with me?), apologizing to my husband for being short with him on the phone (I'm telling you he's a saint for putting up with me) and wanting the dog (the one who lives in a little wooden box on our shelf). Pathetic. Oh, and creating a rather magnificent pile of soggy snot wads on our sofa. Nice.

But today I feel better. I got a total of 12 hours of sleep (not all at once, mind you), played some tennis, walked the dog, made dinner (breakfast - yummy) and surfed the net. And now I'm going to go forage for a snack and then collapse into bed.

Snow Day!

I finally got the snow day I've been whining about since December. We have about 6 inches of snow with some sleet mixed in. My mom has about a foot so far...not sure how much more we'll get. They're predicting another inch or two before morning. Unfortunately our snow day has been ruined by the fact that I have to write a 5 page essay for psych. and Michael is working on a conference paper. But, we get to do so in the cozy comfort of our tv room whilst (see, there it is again) sitting on the couch with our feet propped up and sipping hot tea.

All I have to say is thank god for our snow blower. Even tho we don't have that much snow, if you've ever seen our driveway you know what I'm talking about. We're heading back out in a few minutes to do some shoveling and walk the dog. Hope the rest of you get a snow day tomorrow!

Nothing Exciting...

Yep, that's us. Nothing exciting to report. Not that this is a bad thing, mind you, but it doesn't make for entertaining blogging. So, Asia is doing well. She's two weeks into the 4 week must-stay-calm-at-all-times post-treatment phase and continues to do well. Little brat found some cat poo today while out on a walk, tho. And when I say found, that means found and promptly gobbled it up before Michael could get her away from it. Brat. Did I mention that this dog really, really like prunes? Prunes. She won't eat peanut butter (tell me what dog doesn't eat peanut butter) but she LOVES prunes. She can't get enough of them. The good thing is that I found a cheaper alternative to the smelly wet fish food crap she normally gets to eat whilst I sneak up on her to give her an allergy shot.

You know, I think 'whilst' is a good word. Whilst. Whilst. Whilst. Whilllllsssssttttttt. It just trips right of the tongue.

Anyway, other than dog stuff, Michael had an interview last week and has another one at the end of the month. Hopefully he'll get a job offer from either place (preferably the one in NY) and then we'll know where we're moving and when and all that stuff. But, no more about that...I don't want to jinx him (yes, I sort of believe that I could. I know it's stupid).

Blarg. Being an adult really sucks sometimes. There's bills to pay, taxes to do, a home to do lots of expensive aesthetic things to, jobs to find, jobs to struggle through until your husband finds a job in another city...blarg, blarg, blarg. And being grown up enough to have the kind of conversations with your parents that make you realize that they're people too and not just your parents. And finding out that your parents probably never really loved each other in the first place is hard. Very, very hard. Everyone wants to think that her/his parents love(d) each other, at least a little. And knowing that you can never go home again to the home of your childhood when you didn't have the awareness that your parents' marriage wasn't so different from that of your friends' parents' marriages...is just hard. There is no "home" to go home to anymore. Just goes to show that you never really outgrow the desire to go home to parents who love you and still love each other. Even when you know it'll never happen you can't help yourself from thinking about it. And, yes, there's my home with my wonderful husband and our dog but sometimes...I just want to go "home."

Confession...

I have an embarrassing confession to make. Michael and I were cleaning out a closet and were attempting to file away old utility statements and receipts. And then...I found a bag that had a stack of H@llmark cards inside....cards I had purchased for friends and family that were unsent. Oops. I found birthday cards, sympathy cards, congratulations cards--you name it, I found it. So, for all of those life events that warranted a specially chosen card from the local H@llmark store, I bought a card and then put it in a bag in a closet.

Now, you may be wondering how this happens. It all started when I found myself in a situation where I needed to clean up the clutter in the house very quickly. And the next thing you know, I'm running around the house with a bag and throwing all the paper bits I can find into it and then shoving it into a closet. And...it's happened more than once.

So....oops. And many apologies. I will be sending said cards (albeit belatedly) this week. So, now you know. Anyway, if any of you randomly receive a card in the mail, you'll know why it's late.

Asia Update: Our baby is home and doing well. Thanks for thinking of us and we'll let you know when she gets a clean bill of health in four weeks when she goes in for her check up and blood test.

It's the 14th day of the new year...

And we've already gotten bad news. Seriously, WTF?!?!

So the news? Asia has heartworms. HEARTWORMS. As in, the worms that live in the heart of your dog and then she dies. Fuck.

Here's what happened: Asia had her yearly exam and shots last week and then we got a call on Friday from the vet asking us to call him back (you know that means bad news). So, her heartworm test came back positive and then they ran it again to be sure and the second test came back positive, too. There is a latentcy period for HW of about 6 months so she was infected when she went to the humane league even tho she tested negative at this time last year when her last owners put her up for adoption. And since she tested negative at the humane league the vet didn't test her again until last Tuesday.

The really bad news is that if she goes untreated the HW will kill her by giving her congestive heart failure. This, of course, is absolutely not an option.

The good news is that there is a treatment but the bad news is that the result of the treatment could still kill her. There is a new HW treatment that is very successful (the old treatment includes arsenic and often killed the pets that were being treated) but what happens is that when the worms die, they have to go somewhere: the lungs. Eventually, the body absorbs the dead worm bodies but the problem is that when a whole bunch of them die, the dog could have a reaction. In Asia's case, the scary part is that she's very allergy sensitive and the vet is worried that when the dead worm bodies go into the lungs that she'll go into anaphylactic shock.

So......needless to say, Michael and I are still in shock and are concerned about losing our baby. But we are trying to stay positive. The good thing is that she's been on heartworm pills since we brought her home so hopefully that's killed any of the larvae and hopefully her heart isn't chock full of worms that will put her into anaphylactic shock. The other good thing is that the vet said she's very healthy otherwise and he's never detected a heart murmur on her.

So, right now, the medication is on order and Asia goes into the vet on the 23rd for a 4-day hospital stay while the medication is administered and she's closely monitored for any reactions. Hopefully all will go well and we can bring her home on Friday. Once we get her home, she'll be confined to the house for a month other than to go out and go to the bathroom. This is to prevent an embolism caused by a big clump of dead worms. I can't even begin to think about how we're going to keep her calm if she sees a cat while we're out for a quick pee.

Anyway, that's the news from here. Keep your fingers crossed for us and I'll keep you posted.

Everyone else is doing it...

1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before? Went to Cali-forn-eeyahhhh. Put a beloved pet to sleep.

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Blarg. I always seem to make them but rarely make it past February (except for the one about flossing but I've since stopped doing that - I know, gross, but now that I have braces, I can't bring myself to floss very often).

I have made two for this year: not talk on my cell phone while driving (unless in an emergency situation) and have more sex with my wonderful husband (hi, Honey!). Sadly, I've already broken the first one twice.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Nope, but they will this year! Whee!

4. Did anyone close to you die? Shana. And as the anniversary of her passing approaches it becomes harder and harder to keep from tearing up at the mere thought of her. What a great dog she was...it's just not the same without her.

5. What countries did you visit? At the rate I'm going, I'll never see a country other than the U.S. of A. Boo.

6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006? I have to concur with Gwen that I, too, would like more time for everything. More reading of good books. More quality time with my husband. Oh, and more naps. Naps are a very good thing.

7. What dates from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Again, the day our dog was put to sleep (wow, I sound like a broken record).

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I'd like to say that I did something really important that benefitted the whole of humankind but alas all can say is that Michael and I had a wonderful first year of marriage and I haven't managed to scare him off. Yet.

9. What was your biggest failure? Letting my stupid job and stupid boss take over my life and not doing a better job of managing stress.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Thankfully, no:> Unless you count all the ambush atomic wedgie attacks, etc. on Michael that ALWAYS result in my getting hurt. Always.

BTW, I did find out that I don't have athlete's foot.

11. What was the best thing you bought? A fabulous new tennis racquet.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My husband. The man is a saint.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Where to begin?

14. Where did most of your money go? The money pit at 267 P@rk Drive. Monthly steroid injections for Asia and 2 visits to the doggie dermatologist. And my mouth full of metal.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? My honeymoon. Tennis. A new dog. Quitting my job (but then staying on part time when my boss resigned). Making my plan to go to nursing school.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? both, sometimes
b) thinner or fatter? both and then I went all veg and lost a few pounds
c) richer or poorer? definitely poorer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Spending time with the most important people (and dogs) in my life.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Being stressed out and worried about my job.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? Spent it with my family and Michael's. Had a great time on a post-X-mas trip to Lanky-town.

23. What was your favorite TV program? Family Guy and the Simpson's. Good Eats during that brief interlude where we had cable tv.

25. What was the best book you read? The Lovely Bones. I could NOT put it down. And The Handmaid's Tale even though it still creeps me out just thinking about it.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery? Hmmm...I didn't really have one.

27. What did you want and get? A new dog. A wonderful new half bathroom and a fabulously improved existing bathroom. A creamer and sugar serving set that matches my fiestaware.

28. What did you want and not get? Tenure for my husband. A hundred more years with my best girl. Less dysfunctional family crap.

29. What was your favorite film of this year? Little Miss Sunshine. But I have to say that This is Spinal Tap is a very close runner up.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 29, and I don't remember what I did. How sad.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Besides all the other stuff that's already mentioned--winning the lottery.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006? Clean clothes that aren't wrinkled?

33. What kept you sane? My favorite people in the whole wide world (you know who you are).

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Harrison Ford will always have the numero uno celebrity spot.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006. No comment.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. Beans, beans the magical fruit...

I GOT A B!

A B in my stats class! BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not the efe menos I was desperately fearing (maybe desperately is too strong a word here but still) but a B!!!!!!

And it's all thanks to that wonderful husband of mine. Love you!

Good news for Ohio!!!

This is so freaking awesome for those of us stuck in, I mean, who live in, Ohio. Good news (for the most part) all around. Keep your fingers crossed for the race between Dr. Vic Wulsin and that crazy bee-och (whose name I can barely force myself to type here) Je@n Schm!dt.

Resignation

Well, there you have it. And I am breaking my "no-blogging-at-work" rule. Because, hey, it's 8:15 on a Saturday morning and here I sit since 7:30 doing work so nanny-nanny-boo-boo.

Anyway, I turned in my resignation on Wednesday and let's just say the rest of this week hasn't been so great. I didn't expect to feel so emotional about it. I didn't expect to feel this sad. I didn't expect that I would second-guess myself and my career goals. And, yet, here I am feeling all of those things. I've been so excited about this since I made the decision that I want to go to nursing school and have felt so sure all this time. And now I find myself thinking "Is this the right thing to do? What if I suck at it? What if we go broke in the process? What the HELL have I just done?!?!" So, this moment that I thought would be so satisfying and wonderful...feels anything but.

No more making fun...

Of fantasy football. Long have I openly mocked fantasy football and now...I must stop. Well, at least for a little while.

See, Michael is the "Commissioner" of his very own FF league and I have been mercilous in my disdain for it. Until last night. I was stuck at the office on a Saturday afternoon desperately trying to format an excel sheet for a meeting on Monday morning and it looked like it was going to take hours upon hours to get through. So I called Michael and asked him to meet me at my office and see if he could help me out with my spreadsheet and he came and worked a little magic and , voila!, saved me hours of work with just a few key strokes. That husband of mine is brilliant, I tell you.

Later on in the evening when I am singing Michael's praises for saving me hours and hours of work he tells me "You know that function I used? I learned how to do it when I put together the draft pick program for fantasy football." Stunned silence ensued followed by me yelling about how upset I am that I can never make fun of FF again because it totally saved my ass! Now what will I have to make fun of? #$)(%$*%^)$(%&_)%$(%^_!!!!!

Oh, the irony! The irony!