Well, it's official. High school football has begun. Tonight, HHS will not play Central but will play E-town instead. Last night on the local news they discussed nothing but football and the re-org of the L-L League. For about 10 seconds I missed all the hoopla. And then it passed. But still, it reminds me of a less stressful time. I mean, of course there was homework stress, and first day of school stress, and marching band stress and having to wear a uniform that consisted of well-placed bits of sliver lame over WHITE SPANDEX that became totally transparent in the rain!!!!! Ahem. So, as I was saying, there was no "I don't have health insurance" or "I can't believe this ridiculous quote for car insurance" or "I totally got shafted on my stafford loan." It's tough to be a grown-up sometimes and I think that's all I'm getting at here. But I do sort of miss red and black face paint, confetti and "Basin Street Blues." But now I'm starting to sound like an idiot so I'll go get ready to take the girls out to play at the tennis courts. Shana and Killian are really into chasing tennis balls and each other around the courts until their tongues hang out. It's pretty darnded cute.

I tried to avail myself of commenting services from YACCS but they are no longer accepting new YACC users. Perhaps another time. I did go to Roots yesterday and got an awesome parking space. I also effectively managed (can you tell that I recently worked on my resume?) to avoid Finks French Fries-- the best fries ever! Thrashers fries are good, but Finks fries provides a touch of nostalgia lacking in Thrashers. Yay fall weather and football games and the Time Warp in the stands! Woo! I am such a nerd. Anyway, I was unable to discover the legend behind Whoopie Pies. Will have to don my anthropologist hat (exactly like Indiana Jones' fedora) and go out into the field for some research. And now I'm an even bigger nerd. I suppose I should stop while I am ahead.

Hmmm. You know, I'm not exactly in the Windy anymore. I'm in the Lanky now. Hmmm...Fummer in the Lanky...uh, not so good. So I get an email this morning from the Office of Annual Giving about participating in the Phonathon in 2 weeks. Hmph. I really like my new friend M, but she's on the Alumni Board and is the one who gave out my email address so that they could ask me to participate. She also gets on my ass about donations. Not too bad, really, since I've been unemployed, but I had to promise to donate $15 after I start working. "It's not the amount that you donate, it's that you donate." Blah, blah, blah. And you know, I don't mind the idea of donating to my Alma Mater since the school was kind enough to give me a full-ride scholarship, but I have to tell you that I am not impressed with the new Pres. and I'm not sure I like where the College is heading. Still, the time to give back is soon approaching and I will do my duty and give a little something. And I do mean little b/c my first priority is to get an apartment and go haul my crap out of my mother's house and into said apartment. Off to Roots now. No more outtings to Roots in the middle of the morning after today. I will have to go at 5pm when everyone else that is not a tourist or a stay-at-home mom goes. I can smell the Whoopie Pies already...Whoopie Pies...I'll have to ask why they are called Whoopie Pies...hmmm...

Well, my last week as an unemployed person is upon me. So far, all is well. I got up at 7:45 (trying to get myself back on schedule) and am ready to get busy. Just the usual chores of laundry and grocery shopping and going to the gym ("Oh, the GYME" for Simpsons fans). I'm quite excited about my new job and getting to meet lots of new people. I think it will be good:> I wish I had the financial means to go *skydiving* before going back to work--I'm envious of J's excursion into the world of 120 mph. And hey, the "trash can mouth" thing is pretty darned sexy:> Maybe when I have a permanent job and real health insurance that does not threaten to void my policy for participating in said activity. I would much rather jump out of a plane than go skiing down a hill. Ooh, laundry's done--must go! Happy First Day of School to Amanda and Alissa and HEF!!! You guys are awesome!

RAIN!!!!!!!! It has finally RAINED in LANKY! Wheeeeee! I mean, Lanky isn't the only place that's afflicted by drought, but I am way excited about rain. Except that my dog refuses to go out to pee while it is raining. It's supposed to rain all day but it's not right now, so guess it's taking a break. Now it's a lazy rainy day and I don't want to do anything but lay around and nap. Must do work. Have things to do. Maybe after I post my blog:> So, I have to admit that I saw Kyle from the Real World at Park City last Sunday. Alissa made me do it! Well, truth be told, I had forgotten. Alissa and I were having dinner at T.G.I.F.'s when SHE reminded me. I swear. So, we decided to go check it out. He walked right past us with his big stupid head. And all the while A and I were getting hit upon by some guy at the little kiosk that sells those rainbow coloring things from t.v. He told us that he was too old for us, or something like that. Skeevy mall guy. But you should have seen how many girls (and 2 guys) were lined up for Kyle's autograph. The line was 3-4 across and all the way back to Formal Affairs (the store immediately inside the doors of that entrance). I read in the paper that he was there until 10 pm signing autographs. I wonder if he signs body parts...Just kidding. And you should have heard the girls scream when he came out flanked by mall security. Oh, so funny. Stupid Kyle on Podunk Mall Tour. What an idiot. I should have heckled him. I should have yelled that I'm not impressed by his "dry, rythmless humping." Hee hee hee. So very, very funny.

You know, I'm starting to lose my faith in the justice system a little more each day. Now, for those of you who keep up with the local news here in Lanky, the MT graduates who were arrested on charges of assault while at Senior Week in OCMD are going to get off scott-free. I knew this was going to happen. And the description of the assualt changes every time. Now the guys just threw food at the naked body of an underage girl while she was passed out. JUST THREW FOOD AT THE NAKED BODY OF AN UNDERAGE GIRL WHILE SHE WAS PASSED OUT. What the hell is this?!? The one kid is at Princeton already at football camp and they are acting like nothing happened. Now, only one of the three guys arrested is actually facing charges and he will probably get off, too. Who in their right mind thinks that it is acceptable to videotape a girl who has passed out from too much alcohal while others take off her clothes and throw food at/insert food in her???? And now they are getting away with it with less than a slap on the wrist. No one is going to hold these men accountable for their despicable acts and it won't be long before everyone forgets about it. It just makes me sick.

Okay. Have regrouped and blown off steam. Not a good idea to freak out on one's blog if that is all one does on a regular basis. Have managed to procure a 12-week gig with potential employer discussed in previous blog. Got a call yesterday (only 2 days later than promised but is okay now) and was told that they chose the other candidate b/c she has previous fundraising experience. That's a valid reason not to pick ME. Hee hee hee. Anyway, have been offered a short term position with the possibility that it could turn into a FT permanent position at the end of the 12 weeks. If there is no extra funding to support such a position, I am sure to find another job as 12-week position will allow me to meet with many bigwigs in Lanky. Then maybe I will end up with something in the for-profit sector--we will just have to wait and see what happens. I remain in the LAND OF SUCK until I receive a paycheck (in about 4 weeks). I start my new job the day after Labor Day and until then, I will try to enjoy the remaining days of unemployment, like going to Roots in the middle of the morning and sleeping in until 8 am and then leisurely drinking a cup of coffee and reading the paper. And no more trips to the gym at 2 pm. Will have to go at 5 with all the other alumni who want to work out before going home for the day. I realize that I COULD work out in the morning but that would mean getting up at the crack of dawn just to go get sweaty and then having to take a communal shower with a professor or something. I am NOT going to go there. Yay new job!

Welcome to the LAND OF SUCK! A new term coined by Amanda that accurately describes my current state of affairs. My blog is frequently full of the negative and I had vowed that if I didn't have something positive to say about my life then I wasn't going to post it. Well, screw that! Today, I got another big blow off by a potential employer who, once again, did not have the fucking courtesy to at least let me know that they had decided upon the other candidate. And it's okay that they didn't choose me, but for god's sake they could have at least called like they said they would. I feel like my fucking college education means nothing since the only jobs that anyone would want to hire me for require only a high school diploma or a GED. How sad is that? Well, I guess it's off to the LAND OF SUCKY WAITRESS GIGS.

I made it to NJ for the remainder of the weekend. I made good time, too--only 2.5 hrs. I was under the impression that people from Jersey are crazy drivers and speed everywhere, however, almost all the drivers with NJ plates were driving UNDER the damned speed limit. That is so annoying. Nevertheless, I allowed my roomates to drag me on a whirlwind tour of their favorite weekend hot spots. I finally saw the notorious Rich Meyer show and a good time was had by all. Then we were dragged to a club a few blocks away full of good looking young people wearing too tight clothes. Dancing was good, tho, and great music. Now, I am not really a clubbing kind of person, but we had a good time and I might be ready to do it again in another year:> And stupidly, I wore impractical shoes that hurt the hell out of my feet all because they looked great with my outfit. That was so dumb. And I knew that when I packed them. After a few short hours of sleep, we had brunch and headed to the beach. SB had to work so M and I just hung out by the guard chair and had some fun in the sun for a couple of hours. Water was nice and I managed to excape with only a slight burn on my shoulders. That's what happens when you wear expired sunscreen. Oops. It was nice to see my roomates and can't wait for Alumni Weekend in October so we can do it again. Shana is recovering nicely from her little bout with gastritis. And, she played with Killian for the first time at the tennis courts last night! This is a big deal for her since she's been traumatized by attacks by other dogs when we were in Chicago. I'm very excited for her--she is making excellent progress.

I am sooo bad at blogging. Anyway, weekend in NJ with the roomates cancelled on account of doggie gastritis. Poor baby. If I had to miss this weekend for any reason, this would be it. So, now I am home boiling hamburger and rice and cleaning up little piles of vomit and forcefeeding doggie Tagamet to my dog. Whew. I don't know if I can handle all this excitement. There is a possibility that I can drive to NJ tomorrow evening and come back Sunday. We will have to wait and see. It depends on a certian furry mutt butt. Still no job and starting to realize that it's soon time to head for the temp agencies. Unlike someone I know, I don't collect unemployment while I look for a new job. Not going back to I's, tho. No way. So....last weekend was a lot of fun. And I really LIKED our salmon (Scott). It was awfully darned good for having been purchased at Stauffer's in Lititz. Craft show was okay. Too many vendors selling chenille scarves. It was the same old group of carnies like every other time. We had fun anyway. I hate to say this, but Austin Powers was very funny. It should have been shorter, tho, by about 45 minutes. Fun nonetheless. Thank you all for a nice weekend. Must get back to boiling rice and hamburger. I want to come back as my dog in my next life.

This was an ACTUAL conversation that I heard yesterday, I swear.
Girl 1: Oh my god! Kyle from The Real World is going to be at the mall on Aug, 18!
Girl 2: Oh my god! He is SO cute! We totally have to go.
Girl 1: Yeah. He IS cute! We should totally go.

Yep. I did not make that up. In the meantime, Ang and I were laughing about it and wanting to go harass him or something, but whatever. It is so sad that Kyle has to go on Podunk Mall Tour now that the show is over. Doesn't he have a life? Dumb question, I guess. Whatever. Stupid show. I can't believe that Angie made me watch it. I refuse to accept responsibility for watching that show, so I'll just blame Angie. Never again, I tell you. Anyway, it will be a fun-filled weekend in Lanky b/w craft show excitement and accompanying Nanny and Larry to their Saturday night dinner spot. Oh, good god! What is my life? My life is driving the G's and P's to Carlos and Charlie's b/c I need to get the feel of the NannyMobile before I take her out to dinner. Do you know how ridiculous it looked to see me driving with all of them squished in the backseat?!? What am I doing here?

I am so bad at blogging. Must stay positive, tho. I am blogging today. Spent a lovely weekend with Amanda in D.C. Saw lots of good stuff, but was very tired when it was all over. 5 museums in less than 2 days is rough. I should have skipped the Air and Space Museum b/c it hasn't changed since I was 12 and it was full of hot, whiny, bratty kids who were all screaming at their parents and hitting their siblings. V. good time and I'm glad I went! Thanks, Amanda! Still looking for a job. It's only been 3.5 weeks, so it's not that bad but I need to get something soon. I don't particularly relish the idea of temp work. We will just have to wait and see and send lots of resumes and cover letters in the interim. Going to the Craft Show this weekend and having taco dip with Gwen and Alissa. V. excited! Ah, the craft show carrnies...always a fun bunch. And since I am unemployed this year, I won't be making any purchases. Just looking and making mental notes so that when they come back T-giving weekend, I can do some shopping. I would love a hat like Gwen's made by "The Sheppardess." I would love a hat like that--even more than I would love a fairy lady (hint hint--just kidding). Unlike Jason, I still know what day it is despite my unemployment status, but only b/c I have so much stuff to do. I can't believe I'm this busy and I don't even have a job yet.

Good Goddess! Blogging in a timely fashion is like trying to remember house plants. Although, I have to say that since my days as a groundskeeper I have been very successful with keeping houseplants. And I'm still not convinced that giving plants birth control pills truly acts as an effective fertilizer. Gwen, I have some for you to use if you want since you have a hundred houseplants. So, well, I moved out of Sam's house and into Jand H's place. Besides my mother's house, no other place feels like home to me. Not even my grandma's house. I have been here a week now and I'm content to hang out for a bit, hope they don't mind! I did go look at a one bedroom place on 1st and Ruby but he decided to give it to someone that actually had a job. Smart guy. I wasn't ready anyway. In the meantime, I have been looking for jobs and networking my little heart out. This time, I am leaving no stone unturned in the job search. Except maybe the juvenile justice stone. I'd rather take a Dilbert job over that b/c I can't live on the kind of salary that they give. Not unless my sugar daddy finally materializes (hopefully in the shape of Harrison Ford) or whathaveyou. Today I have an appt with career services to discuss my resume and job opps and all that. The major advantage to being back in Lanky and near my alma mater is that they have to help me find a job--which is a lot easier when you live here. Jason and I are going to I's for lunch today. I thinkI will have a southwest pita with chicken. And pickles with lots of gerkhins. No wait, they stopped putting them in ages ago. Sorry Gwen! I could have some tort. salas with all the black olives picked out. Hee hee hee. And then I will stop by to see Nanny and check in on her. That's my day. Before I go, it's time for a belated birthday tribute to my friend, Scott, whom I have known since 3rd grade (by the way, they are adding on to the elem school--it's so weird). Scott, as much as I love you, I lack the talent to write a song about how wonderful you are so I will just tell it like it is. Happy Birthday to the one dressed as Mark Twain for our 5th grade rendition of "Fifty Nifty" and the one who threw entire slices of white bread at (and hit on target) seagulls at Long's Park. To the one that has only positive things to say about people and listens to the girls gossip and giggle and be ridiculous and doesn't seem to mind, many birthday wishes of good fortune to you. To the one that is always there with an open heart and a big hug and a big, huge, slobbery bohemoth of a dog, you rock! For accompanying me and Manda to see the Indigo Girls (sorry Ang!) in Philly and having a fabulous time that still makes me smile every time I think of it (oooh! Mufasa!), love to you! Hope it was happy and wishing you happy days on your birthday and every day! Alright, gag, retch and so on. Well, must go--time for Shana's am poop walk.

Just a quick add on to my previous blog concerning a certain birthday boy--I forgot to mention that you are so wonderful that you willingly walked thru SaveMart for 15 minutes helping me look for eyelash curler refills. That is the kind of wonderful person you are! Ladies, this one is a real catch! Well, I am officially unemployed as of right now. I can't believe I no longer have a job. Dear goddess, what have I done? I left a job with major stress and crappy pay and a long commute made worse by the fact that they are increasing tolls 90% soon. Thankfully I'll miss out on that. My boss offered me my job back if I ever decide to move back here. That was nice of her. And she wrote a really nice letter of recommendation for me. So now I am unemployed...sigh...And moving day is nearly upon me and none of the stuff I am taking with me is packed. Although, to be fair to myself, I can't pack my toothbrush, deoderant and clothes before I leave. And how the hell did I accumulate so much crap in one year. I am leaving Chicago a year to the day that I came here last year and I have so much crap. Again. How did this happen? Oh well, hopefully I will find a new job soon that pays decently so that I can fly back and move all my crap into the imaginary but hopefully not for long apartment. I wish I didn't have to leave my plants. I decided to give them to Matthew as a housewarming gift since he is moving into an apt in the city next week. My mom and I are going to go see it on Friday. I think he is in for a BIG surprise. He has no idea what it is like to live with other people who aren't related to him. And I can't wait to see what happens when it's time to do laundry. Well, off to bed for some shut eye. I have so much to do before I move that I'll have to get up by 8 every day to get it done...sigh...so much for sleeping in.

What has happened to my blog? There are no entries since the 9th. Bad. Where are the blogger fairies who come at night and write funny, insightful and brilliant entries? Where are they? My blog is long overdue for some funny, insightful and brilliant entries. Ahem. Next order of business will be my own personal tribute to Jason the Birthday Boy. Happy Birthday to you my first ever band geek boyfriend! Bet you're glad I posted that on my blog. And the one who always smells so yummy and is quick to offer hugs and a shoulder to cry on. And the one who is always a gentleman and who will absolutely make a wonderful spouse and father someday. A huge HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you, Jason! Can't wait to see you in a couple of weeks.

Blogging is starting to turn into all of my other previous attempts to "journal." That was for Gwen b/c I know how she loves to verb words. hee hee. I am totally exhausted after the second consecutive Sunday spent at a quilt show. It was fun but I am so tired and I didn't get anything done and I still can't find my resume and I still haven't packed a damn thing and moving day is in 21 days. BLAH! And I had a scheduled sick day for tomorrow (you don't get paid for sick time after you quit but you get all your vacay time paid) and I am the idiot that volunteered to come in b/c there are a lot of patients scheduled for Monday (which is quite unusual) and I didn't want C. to do it all herself. I am so dumb. Whatever.

And b/c moving day is only 3 weeks away I am riddled with doubts about moving and I have no idea what the hell I am doing. What am I doing? What? Can someone help me? I did start a new quilt last week. I only work on it a Q.G. but it was something nice to start instead of doing applique. I am terrible at invisible applique. Maybe I should just do red work b/c then I wouldn't have to worry that anyone can see it since it's red work, after all. Why am I even telling yout this? I think it's time for a shower and bed b/c this is going nowhere fast.

I.Hate.My.Life. What is this? This is not the life I want. BLEAH! The countdown to moving day begins and my family has turned into supremo a**holes. As if they weren't already. If I didn't resemble my parents I could totally concince myself that I am adopted. Really. I had intended to tell you all about the lovely quilt show I attended on Sunday with my grandma but I'm in a horrible mood and it's about to hail and thunder or something so I will save the wearable fabric art fashion show and the flower power applique for another time. I saw a gorgeous quilt that was selling for $1000. Here comes the storm--must go.

I always find that the first day back at work/school after having a few days off is the absolute worst. Well, I took off 4 whole days (2 were my usual days off) in a row and had a nice time, albeit totally dysfunctional, with my mother. We went shopping and went to the casino one night ( I'm too anal to gamble properly and I always lose even tho I only play the slots) and went visited a couple of museums and saw Star Wars and then I had to go with the Q.G. ladies to lunch for my grandma's birthday. I needed another day off just to recover from that. Seriously, that is the last time I will go to lunch with them. I wouldn't have gone but it was my grandma's birthday lunch and I couldn't skip it. And I got a free thimble out of it:> I swear that when my children are in their late teens and early twenties that I will NOT be a clueless annoying person (read like my mother). And when I am a grandma I will not go out to lunch with my friends and run the poor waitstaff around asking for more bread sticks/bicuits/bread and more lemons and more water and more napkins and then tell them not to leave more money on the table b/c gratuity was already added to the check. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! So, yeah, I had a nice time. We went to the Museum of Sci. and Ind. which was fun but it was full of kids and I had to wait in line behind 20 of them so I could ride the tractor in the farm exhibit. And my mom wouldn't wait for me so I didn't get to harvest any soybeans. I got to take a picture of my iris, tho. And we saw the "Super Croc" that measured 40 feet long. And after we couldn't stand the little kids anymore we went to lunch at Berghoff's, a yummy German food restaurant, and I had chicken schnitzel and stewed tomatoes and some Berghoff's house lager. Very tasty. And then we went to the Art Institute and saw the Ansel Adams exhibit. I saw some gorgeous Georgia O'Keefe's and Impressionist paintings (too numerous to mention) and an amazing stained glass window by Chagall dedicated to the Mayor of Chicago in 1977. And I saw a painting by El Greco (can't remember the name--something rising virgin something. Don't tell Mrs. Minnich I forgot the name:>) and it was so unreal to see it in person. It was absolutely huge. Yars. Very fun indeed. We wanted to go to the Mag Mile and Navy Pier but it was chilly and windy and we decided to go in a couple of weeks when it the weather is nicer. I didn't want to sit on the ferris wheel for 20 minutes in the freezing cold. And then the next day we saw Star Wars and I rather enjoyed it. And Hayden Christiansen is a total hottie. He's probably, what, 18 years old or something? Anyway, I highly recommend seeing it. And now that my little vacation is over, it's back to work as usual. At least I get to give notice in a few weeks...

My goddess! It has been a while since I lat blogged. What a funny word. Anyway, so, the sh*t sort of hit the fan when the relatives came to crash at my house. Blarg, but I am not goint to get swept up in their total dysfunctionality. The 4 of them and my grandma have some crazy-assed dynamic and whatever. Everyone has this in their family b/c we all know that NO ONE has a so-called "normal" family. Hey, I am still convinced that I am adopted. That might be a little more believable if I didn't look so much like both of my parents. Yeah. And then I had a rather stressful week at work (when is it not stressful tho? I mean really, it's every day. I should just take it as a given) although my high school presentation on sex and preg. prevention and STDs went very well. No time for STD Bingo but it was still fun and I think the kids got something out of it. And a big salute to Substiture Teacher Angie for bravely going where none of us have gone before. A foray in to the high school atmosphere (AHHH! The atmosphere! AHHH!--does anyone remember this commercial for the Discovery Channel?) is weird and unsettling. It even smells the same. And the hallways are jam packed with kids. I always hated that. At least talking about sex makes them more inclined to pay attention. I just can't get over the fact that they are allowed to eat and drink in the classroom. And there are soda and vending machines in every hallway. As if kids didn't have a hard enough time with nutrition as it is. BAD soda machines in the high schools! BAD! And as if 4 years (or more for some of us ;>) of unhealthy eating in undergrad was not bad enough. And I'll tell you, having to teach teenagers about sex makes me not want to have kids myself b/c then they, too, will need "the talk" and why put myself thru that? Maybe I'll just adopt a 25 year-old kid who has already finished college. Hee hee. Maybe I will be a more sane version of Emily Dickinson with lots of dogs. Excuse me, I meant animal companions. You know Gwen, a comments option on here would be nice:> hint, hint, nudge wink:>

This.has.been.a.long.week.blah. Well, to be fair, the whole "no root canals for Kelly" thing was rather exciting and "Kelly is going to get her money from dog owner lady" was also quite good (she was true to her word and dropped off 2 months worth of payments) but the rest of the week and the weekend ahead is making my head spin. My mom opened her big mouth and told my grandma that I plan to move back to Lanc and so now she tries to talk me out of it every time I see her. Work absolutely sucks. And my mom's brother and sister are coming this weekend to see my mom and spend time with my grandma but didn't tell their other sister and the sh*t is going to hit the fan tomorrow morning when they show up at my grandma's house. Not going to be good. But! It will get better. I am going to get through this and move back to Lanc and get a new job and try to have a fun and more me kind of life. And by godess, I am going to take a pottery class if it kills me. Or maybe I will take another yoga class from the weird lady at Hempfield Rec. Or maybe I will join another quilt guild that has fun eccentric ladies whose racist attitudes don't interfere with their quilting and socializing. And then I can make more handmade gifts and send them to everyone at their half birthday;> I hope BANG is enjoying her D.V. workshop, it sounds very exciting and I can't wait to hear about it. And if I had any money left over after the bills are paid Alissa, I probably wouldn't know what to do with myself. Well, no, I got my hair cut for some ridiculous price but it was worth it, and anyway, all my left over money for 2 months paid for that. And the rest just stays in the bank so that I can pay the bills after I move. I wish I was spending it on something more exciting. To be fair, if my grandma didn't just give me quilting supplies, I'd probably spend money on getting my own 1/4" presser foot and a new ruler. And then there's fabric. I now understand why the Q.G. ladies like to help my grandma press and fold fabric b/c it's so much fun and it feels nice and you can fantasize about all the quilts you could make with it, etc. Oh god, I have turned into an old lady! EEEEEEEEEE!