So hard to say goodbye...

Asia didn't make it. Around midnight this morning she had developed another case of bloat and her condition was so poor that we had to put her to sleep. She was such a great dog and we loved her so much. She was funny and sweet and a really, really good girl. And I just can't believe that Michael and I are here again so soon after Shana. We really thought Asia was out of the woods but I guess she wasn't. It's the nature of bloat and there isn't anything to be done for it. But that doesn't make it any easier.

It's 4:30 in the morning and I can't sleep. How can I sleep now that our baby is gone?

Since you asked...

Here are a couple of photos of Asia. Sorry, Manda, I wasn't able to get one of her wearing the e-collar (that was a disaster).

This is day 2 post op.







This is from Tuesday. She's wearing a UW t-shirt (and getting pus on it - bwah ha ha ha).












This is from yesterday. Just look at that sweet, sweet face.












And this is the get well card that our nephews made for Asia. The little stick man is a self portrait of Lucas. Max's contributions are on the inside of the card. The two of them came up with the idea all by themselves. It was very sweet.















And this is Michael showing the get well card to Asia. I think she was thinking "Go make my food, bitch. I'm starving." That's how I know she's on the mend. That dog has such a potty mouth.

Day 8

Well, folks, here we are at day 8 post-op. Asia is doing really well except for the open hole in the side of her belly where the catheter used to be. Oh, and the weird pouch of fluid that has collected back near her pee pee (that's my technical term for it) that makes it look like some weirdly stretched out testicle.

In all seriousness, she is doing great. We've had many a sleepless night and we've had to fuss at her because she won't leave the bandage alone and every night at midnight I wake up and she's done something to that damned bandage. Like Saturday night. She chewed, nee, destroyed the bandage and it was hanging around her middle by a piece of medical tape. And then there was the whimpering. So we went to the emergency vet to make sure she didn't cause any permanent damage (there wasn't) and an hour and $83 later walked out with a newly bandaged dog and some pain pills for the inflammation. Did I mention that the inflammation was caused by her chewing off the bandage? Stinker.

Actually, on Saturday we went to the vet twice. As soon as she got home from her first appointment Michael took her outside for a walk and she had a BM causing her bandages to bunch up entirely around her little doggy hips. So....we went right back to have her re-bandaged. And Sunday went well, too except that the lovely folks at the emergency vet used some sort of super duper sticky tape that NASA probably uses to hold bits of the space shuttle together to keep her bandages on and forced me to cut it out of her fur. Now she is sporting a really bad haircut.

Then on Monday she developed a pocket of fluid around the catheter so we called our vet at home and, bless his heart, he had us bring her to his office on Labor Day for a check up. He took out the catheter and cleaned her up and sent us home with a happier dog. Wouldn't you be happy if someone removed a nasty looking catheter from your body? Unfortunately the hole left by the catheter was abscessed so we have to leave it open to drain. We've been managing the seepage (and the licking....you know, dogs really are grody little creatures) by making her wear Michael's t-shirts with a little D@isy Duke tie in the back. I'll post pictures as soon as I can find the cable.

And we went back on Tuesday for another scheduled check up. She's been doing really well....she's eating and she's able to go for a longer walk during the day. And, this is the best part, last night she slept all night without messing with her hole or her weird pocket of fluid. There was much rejoicing. Except for the fact that we were up at 3:30 because Michael had a plane to catch. That lucky bastard gets to go to Vegas for 3 days for a conference and I have to stay at home and hold down the fort. (Love you, honey!) We had a minor setback of retching this morning but luckily she's holding down her food and antibiotics and seems okay. Thankfully my MIL was kind enough to stay with her today while I went to class. What I need now is a vacation. Except that this particular medical emergency cost a few thousand dollars so the only vacations we'll be taking are trips to Lankytown where we can stay with my dad and eat PB&J on the trip out and back.

But she's worth every penny of it. And no doubt the vet can continue to make payments on his snazzy Lexus SUV for many months to come.

Feelin' stressed...

My poor sweet girl is trying to sleep and I'm at home sans Michael and just feelin' stressed. Blarg. I have an interview tomorrow at 9 (receptionist at an eye surgical center) and I don't feel particularly stressed about the interview but more so about starting a new job and school starts next week and Asia has to have that catheter in until Tuesday and Michael leaves for a conference next Wednesday and god I wish he didn't have to go. And I no longer have any closed toe pumps with a slight heel so now I have to go buy some. All my nice pants that I used to wear to work are a little too big now and don't fit quite right so I bought a new pair but they're too long unless I wear heels but you aren't supposed to wear open toe shoes on an interview. And because I've been home all day watching Asia like a hawk with no one to keep me company I think I'm going a little nutty. But did I mention that I'm getting my braces off next week? Catheter out and braces off--there are my silver linings.

Not out of the woods yet...

Well, we've had a pretty eventful couple of days around here. At the moment Asia is resting (passed out is more like it) in the living room and I'm trying to quietly keep myself busy while keeping an eye on her at all times.

Last night we took her to the emergency vet clinic to spend the night just because Michael and I are so ill-equipped to care for her at home so early in the recovery process. Yesterday she had to be rushed to the vet for some IV fluids and to have her catheter drained. What makes this so tough is that gas builds up inside the stomach as the stomach slowly gets back to normal and we periodically have to open the cath to get the gas out. Well, we weren't getting any gas and she was growing steadily more uncomfortable and becoming distressed. And then we went home but once we got there a thunderstorm was brewing and it was too difficult to know if she was pacing and panting because of the storm (her usual behavior besides trying to tear our house apart) or because she couldn't breath because of gas build up. So our vet called the emergency vet to fill her in on what was going on and Asia got professional treatment all night long.

And here I am sitting at home with her watching her to make sure she's doing okay and dreading having to wake her up in 30 minutes to expel some gas. It took her so long to go back to sleep the last time I did it that I hate to wake her. See, this is why we can't have kids. I would be a totally and insanely neurotic parent. All I have thought about for the last 48 hours is this dog and her well-being. She's as close to a kid as we're planning to get and it kills me that she's in pain and uncomfortable and there's little but time that can help her. Blarg. The vets said that the first 3 days are the hardest and tomorrow is day 3 so hopefully we can get through that and by then Michael will be home with me for 3 days to help play nurse. Thanks to all of you for keeping us in your thoughts:>

Always trust your instincts...

If I hadn't Asia might have died. Fck. Yesterday Asia very suddenly developed bloat. For those of you who have read "Marley & Me" this is what Marley has near the end of the book. But thankfully I was at home when it happened and the vets were able to see us right away and they saved our baby girl. The scary thing about bloat is that it happens suddenly and needs to be treated immediately or the animal dies. And sometimes the animal dies anyway.

But thanks to Dr. Fournier and Dr. Shaffer Asia is now at home and trying to rest. She's not out of the woods yet but she's doing a lot better and thankfully I can be home during her recovery.

I just feel so bad for her--she can't seem to catch a break. Between the allergy problems, heart worms, tooth extractions, general weirdness and now this...she just can't get ahead. But like Shana, we love this dog like a kid and we would go to the ends of the earth for her. She has been so brave through all of this and I just hope she will have an uneventful recovery.

A trip down memory lane...

As most of you know, Michael is still looking for a new job and that has been the dark cloud of gloom that has been hanging over us since last September. No, he doesn't have any job leads at this time but we're doing the best we can to keep moving in a forward direction. Part of that means we've decided to consult with one of our neighbors who is a realtor and who specializes in historic districts (especially ours) and she is going to come out and help us figure out what we could be doing NOW to get our house ready to go on the market should Michael get a job offer out of the area. I'm sure that the big list of things to do will make us feel a little nutty and overwhelmed but ultimately it gives us something to do that's productive and will make the whole moving thing a little easier.

And even tho we might not actually have to move, the job market here for people like Michael isn't ideal so we will, in all likelihood, have to move. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. So, yesterday we spent a couple of hours cleaning out our junk room, I mean guest room, and made our pile of books to sell and the pile of stuff for G00dwill and the pile of trash, etc. And we cleaned out a lot of stuff and it felt good to go through it. Not only will it make the future possibility of packing easier but I also feel like we did a good job of dejunkifying the room. And while we were in there I found all of our wedding stuff: extra invitations (can you say homemade x-mas cards--by god I am NOT going to throw them away), cards, receipts, my slip. And then I found the video of my high school graduation. And the day planner from my senior year of college. And the dog resumes Ang made for Shana. And tons and tons of cards and notes from all of my fabulous friends. It was fun to see all those funny little notes and all the different addresses where I've lived over the last 6 years. There were pictures and ticket stubs and the program from V@gina Weekend. And then I found the folder of stuff the Hum@ne League of Lankytown gave me on the day I adopted Shana. That part was really sad but overall it was a happy little trip down memory lane and it reminded me of how lucky I am to have such funny, amazing, super-smart and fabulous women (and dogs) in my life. That reminder is exactly what I needed.

Living the single life...

As most of you know, Michael has been on a sailing trip for the last 7 days and will be returning home tomorrow night. So, all week long I have been living like a single person and doing things that I don't normally do. Like, say, watching a lot of t.v. By my standards, it's a lot of t.v. And eating junk instead of cooking real meals for dinner. You know, eating D0ritos for lunch. D0ritos aren't lunch. You might eat them with a sandwich at lunch but no. I ate just that for lunch. What is wrong with me?

I did study. I did. And I did some laundry and bought groceries. I was somewhat productive. And after my final on Wed. night I just did nothing. I laid around, read books, and ate D0ritos. And today I took Asia to the vet to have her teeth cleaned (and have 6 teeth pulled--I swear that dog has got to be the one to get a PT job) and then ran errands. And I wasn't a total bum--I have gotten up by 7:30 every day which is sleeping in at my house.

And now the lazy party is over. Michael returns tomorrow and starting Monday the search for a PT job begins. And finishing the kitchen. Stupid kitchen. I can't believe I let myself be this lazy. I never do this. Maybe that's the problem. I don't let myself be lazy often enough and I just went hog wild. Oh, hell.

All kinds of wrong...

This is me not studying for my final because 1.) I'm a procrastinator and 2.) this is still really bothering me.

On Monday, I'm sitting in chem lab and there are 2 groups of 4 students at each table. A girl, we'll call her Insensitive Asshole or IA for short, sitting in a group at the far end of the lab bench is talking about her work study job on campus. She was talking about how she has to index some papers that apparently list all of the HIV positive students on campus and she was lamenting the fact that the students' names were blacked out with marker. She said "Believe me, if I could see through that marker, I would go look up all of them on F@cebook so I can see what they look like. I want to know who they are." And then she went on to talk about how the stack of papers was about 2" thick of names of students with HIV.

And I was so...surprised...and disgusted by her comments but I didn't what to say. So often I'm sitting in class and hear the other students talk about things that, um, highlight their immaturity. And I just ignore them because they are young and immature and, hey, they aren't having a conversation with me. But this crossed the line and I just sat there totally stunned by her insensitivity and asshole-ness. So, dear people of the internets, what would you have done?

Veg!

As many of you know, Michael and I joined a CSA farm this year and are finally reaping the benefits of our fee and bi-weekly toil on the farm itself. Behold! Chard (apparently we're going to get a ton of this), green beans, tomatoes, banana peppers, corn, lettuce, jalapeno peppers and the very beginning of the carrot crop. This week's distribution is far more....plentiful...from our first distribution which consisted of 5 pea pods, a fistful of lettuce and 1 tiny radish. But then we didn't have rain for ages in the early spring so our veg was a bit stunted.

Anyway, I've already made fresh salsa and tonight I'm making a potato and chard gratin. We had some corn last night but until these braces come off I still have to cut the corn off the cob before I can eat it. Did you ever see the C@lvin & H0bbes strip where Calvin says "It's not summer unless you have corn smooshed in your teeth and butter dripping down your chin?" I'd say he's right on the money.

One time at band camp...

So, WSU has a bunch of kiddies here for sleep away band camp and while that's not how we did band camp, it brings back the memories nonetheless. It's kind of fun to walk from building to building and hear the drum line or see the color guard and it reminds me of those few short summers where we (you know who you are) spent tons of time together laughing and carrying on all the live long day.

And this isn't the first time I've been thinking back to those days. When Michael and I were in Lankytown 2 weekends ago we went to HHS to play some tennis and the new courts are located on top of the old stadium parking lot where we learned our coordinates. It was kind of weird to be there, but not in a bad way, and "Yesterday" has been running through my head ever since. I think I've pretty much blocked most of the crummy memories from that time so all that remains are the funny, amazing, loud and crazy times we had. Sometimes, when I'm feeling homesick, that's what I'm homesick for. Band camp. Go figure.

Been a while....

Well, the last 3 weeks of freedom between summer sessions are now behind me and I'm back at school (a new school this time) for more punishment, I mean, chemistry. It was a very busy 3 weeks where I spackled, sanded, spackled and sanded our kitchen and it still isn't ready to be painted. Not ready. Durr. There's some hand sanding left and then the cleaning bit before I can put up a coat of primer. Not to mention the spackle dust that got inside all of my cabinets and drawers and all over my dishes and utensils.

I did some fun stuff in there, too, but talking about it makes me homesick for my friends so I'll just leave it at that.

And now I'm back in Ohio and back to the grind. Can't complain tho (that's not entirely true: my computer screen died so I had to send the whole thing to HP to be repaired and I officially hate all airports and TSA with such a passion that I'm going to put myself on some FBI watch list because I'm going to send them all hate email) b/c Michael and I are going to have a date night on Thursday and are going to see HP5. And? HP 7 is out on Friday night at midnight so you can find me at the local B&N waiting in line for my copy. Can't wait!

Hoping to Ogg...

That I do well on my chem final (and isn't that Terry Pratchett just so witty?) 16 hours from now. Rarely have I felt as incompetent and stupid as I have while taking this class and the fact that a summer session of organic chem awaits in July makes me cringe. I've just got to keep telling myself that it'll be okay. It will. Right?

It's a crazy day in the neighborhood...

A crazy day in the neighborhood...
Won't you be my,
Please, won't you be my,
Won't you be my (probably) crack-addled homeless neighbor who's shilling for drug and/or booze money....?

First, I'd like to point out that Michael and I really like our neighborhood despite the occasional petty theft and weird homeless people scamming for money. But Tuesday night really takes the cake re: neighborhood issues.

Around 9 pm the doorbell rings and I assume it's my next door neighbor. Instead I find this skanky-looking lady standing on my porch with one of those weird grape vine angels. This picture doesn't quite do it justice but this lady was holding one that was 5 feet tall and strung with little white lights (puke). Anyway, she launches into some really long story about how she got this from her sister to sell so she can make ends meet while she tries to get on disability, blah blah blah. She tells me it's only $20 and it's real pretty.

My response? I tell her that I just quit my job and we don't have the money to buy it from her as lovely as it may be. I can't believe I offer these people explanations when I tell them no. How stupid is that?

Anyway, she wanders down the steps and back to the sidewalk and asks if there's anyone else she could ask aaaaannnd I told her I didn't know anyone for her to ask. Then I go outside to go water my crispy-looking bushes (we need some rain here big time. It looks like it does in the middle of August) and I see her drag this stupid angel over to my neighbor's house on the right. Poor Nick, I felt so bad that she went over to his house.

So, before she can come back and ask me again to buy the stupid angel, I go back in the house and figure I'll just water the bushes another time. Unbeknownst to me, Michael goes outside to water the bushes and also encounters the lady with the angel and she tells him a different story as to why she's selling it (can you say crack addict?) which, btw, is different than the story she gave my next door neighbor about needing to buy diapers. Anyway, Michael tells her no and she wanders off down the street. Then he sees her in the yard of the house 4 houses down and she's holding birdfeeders in her hand. She didn't have birdfeeders in the beginning of this ridiculous scenario because she STOLE THEM from the lady whose yard she was in. So, Michael confronts her and asks if those are her birdfeeders and she tells him that they belong to her. So, he tells her that he knows they belong to our neighbor and to put them back and then comes back to our house and calls the cops.

Michael: I think someone is stealing something from my neighbor's yard.
Police dispatcher: What is the woman taking?
Michael: Birdfeeders.
Police dispatcher: Can you describe the woman?
Michael: She's about 5' tall, brown hair and carrying a 5' grape vine angel

You know, my friend Carrie used to be a dispatcher and she said they got calls like this all the time. Anyway, the cops show up, 2 cruisers in fact, and they put the woman in the back of one cruiser and the big stupid angel thing in the trunk of the other cruiser only it's so tall and wide that they can't shut the trunk and half the angel is hanging out the back of the cruiser.

Shortly after the crazy lady is taken away by the cops we take the dog out for her last peepee for the night and we see the police cruiser driving thru the neighborhood with that angel hanging out the back. He sees us and pulls over to ask us if we know anything about it. Michael tells him that he's the one who called to report her and the cop tells us that she stole it from someone and he was trying to find the owner. We told him that neither one of us have ever seen that thing before but someone else in the neighborhood told him it belongs to someone on our block....seriously, if I had seen that on anyone's porch I would have been making fun of it every time I passed by.

Anyway, the next morning we take the dog out for her walk and we see one of our neighbor's birdfeeders didn't make it back and was lying in the grass next to someone else's house. I've been hoping to run into the lady that owns them to tell her that she might want to put them in her backyard but I haven't seen her yet.

But, wait! There's more. The thing about this neighborhood is that if your stuff isn't nailed down someone WILL steal it. We've had flower pots stolen a few times, theft of power tools from our garage (during broad daylight when Michael was home) and our rain barrel has been emptied not once but twice. And about 6 weeks ago someone stole the bungee cord we use on our trashcan to keep the raccoons out of it. So, Tuesday night is trash night and it was also a recycling week so we put out our recycling bin. Around lunch time on Wednesday afternoon I came home from school and my trashcan and recycling bin were out front but I decided to I'd get them later. Well, I go outside to walk the dog later in the afternoon and my fucking recycling bin is gone. WHO THE HELL STEALS A RECYCLING BIN?

I'm pissed so I call the cops and report that it's been stolen (seems petty but it's my only recourse). And later I find out that one of our neighbors saw some homeless guy who not only stole our recycling bin but had stolen other things like aluminum siding. Yes, folks, I said aluminum siding and it presumably was stolen off of someone's house. (Not the first time that's happened in this neighborhood). So, she called the cops and they arrested the guy and took all of the stolen goods....somewhere.

My bin is gone for good but the county department in charge of the recycling program here in Dayton is having a new one delivered on Thursday. We don't know if anyone claimed their stolen angel yet but I'll be sure to keep the internets posted.

Oh, the bureacracy!

I smell a rant coming on...

I want to preface this by saying that I'm very grateful for the tuition remission benefit Michael gets at the university. But. The process of registering for and the taking of classes at said university has been nothing short of a pain in the arse. WTF?!?

First of all, signing up in the first place for classes was a big mess b/c Michael had to do the work of having me enrolled. He went to HR, who sent him to the bursar, who sent him back to HR, etc. until finally, he got me enrolled. This is only the first of many hoops thru which my beloved had to jump, although for the sake of brevity, I will only list the highlights below.

Then there was the fun and exciting part of acting as my academic advisor and getting me registered for classes. The first one, stats, had to be a class that was offered at night since I was still working full time. There was a class offered at 5:50 pm and it was full. So, because Michael knows the dept. chair, he contacts him to get me into the class and is successful (yay!). And, as you all know, I got a B in that class and all was right with the world.

So, then there's the registration bit for the winter semester. Because I am low woman on the student totem pole (I have the status of an undeclared freshman, apparently) I got wait-listed for a few classes and then there was this big pain in the butt over the classes that were offered that I needed to take all being taught at the same times on the same days of the week so what is a student to do!?!? Ultimately, I got into Abnormal Psych and Anatomy and Micro and Physiology, but then I had to drop Micro and Phys for reasons I won't bore you with here. But here's where the story takes an interesting turn:

Somehow, when I was dropping Micro and Phys, I got dropped from Anatomy (this occurred after the first week of class during the add/drop window of opportunity) and I DID NOT KNOW THIS HAD HAPPENED!

So, on May 10th, when grades are posted online, all I see is my Psych grade (got an A, btw) but no Anatomy grade. So, I call the registrar's office and am told that that means my prof never turned in the grades so I would have to contact her directly. Okay....so I email her and never get a response. So, finally, after 2 weeks of waiting, I call the department secretary who tells me that the roster shows that I dropped the class back in January!!!!! What the hell!!!!! I tell her that I dropped Phys 307 not Anatomy 305 so, she refers me back to the registrar. The registrar explains that somehow Michael dropped me from Anatomy via the online advisor webpage thingy (which he did NOT do, incidentally--the university uses this lame ass web crap for it's registration stuff. What ever happened to doing your schedule on paper, having your advisor sign it and walking it over to the registrar's office?) but notes that this problem can be corrected. (big sigh of relief here)

Alas, the dept. secretary comes to my aid and fills out the forms to have me retroactively added back to the class and submits my grade. I want to give a shout out to Laura who saved the day and is my new favorite person. As for my grade...I got an A.

In case I forgot to mention this...

Asia's final heartworm test came back negative. Our baby is all better now!

And now it's only a matter of time before we have to drop another couple hundred bucks at the vet's office. It always seems to work out that way...but you know what? She's totally worth it.

Just look at that face!

Day 1 of Freedom (Unemployment)...

• Got up at 6 am to walk the dog and get ready for class
• called my dad before going into class
• 8 am chemistry class...woo...can hardly contain the excitement
• 9:15 go to library to do homework
• go to Michael's office to scrounge up change for a snack (this is the last time I leave the house without any money or snack in hand)
• have lunch in the dining hall
• go to the post office
• go to the grocery store
• put on a load of laundry
• walk the dog
• take a cat nap on the couch
• do more homework
• cook dinner
• do more homework
• rotate laundry
• do more homework
• blog

Sounds pretty exciting, huh?

The Universe Speaketh, part II

Universe: Well...?

Me: I quit. My last day is Saturday.

Universe: It's about time.

Me: Yep.

The Universe Speaketh...

Universe: Seriously? You need to quit. NOW.

Me: But what about my replacement? I haven't told her enough about the job...

Universe: She'll be fine. You need to quit.

Me: But what about the volunteers?

Universe: ...sigh... They'll be fine. They'll help train the new person just like they trained you.

Me: But what about...?

Universe: GET ON WITH IT! (to be spoken a la Monty Python and the Holy Grail)

Me: ...sigh...

So inappropriate...

That's me. I'm at the philharmonic with my husband and in-laws and the composer du jour was Holst. So the arrangement was, you guessed it, The Planets. And I was looking at the program and saw "Uranus, the Magician" and, because I'm immature and crass, began to giggle silently during the performance. I giggled at least halfway through the movement and they were the kind of silent giggles where your body shakes because you're trying so hard not to laugh out loud. And because I'm trying hard not to giggle because it would be inappropriate to giggle like that while at the philharmonic, I only giggle harder and nearly choke on a Halls. I can't tell you why that was funny...it's such a Beavis & Butthead thing to laugh at but there's something about being somewhere where you have to behave yourself that makes you want to be bad. Yep, that's me, all class.

My New Hero...

On a more positive note, Michael and I had the opportunity to attend a lecture on Wednesday featuring Dr. Bernard Kouchner, founder of Doctors Without Borders. His stories helped me put a little perspective on my own personal issues (I'm still feeling very anti-nonprofit but that soon will pass) and my general feelings about this ugly world in which we live. It's nice to know that there are still people out there who are committed to helping others and doing right by humanity. And maybe, after I'm done with nursing school, I might have the privilege to be a part of this very important work.

Crossroads, continued...

Well, I really am leaving my job (finally--I'm such a sucker) and this time I'm really ready to go and I am not even going to miss that place. The people (some of them), yes but not the company and not the work. I have worked in the non-profit field for the past 5 years and here I am already burned out on it. And the tough part is that the job I have now was supposed to be my dream job. And it wasn't. At all.

So, it's time to move on and I'll be spending my summer up to my eyeballs in chemistry and microbiology and any other courses I can get into. I'm applying for a part time receptionist job at doctor's office so that I can still bring in a little bit of money while working in a place that will look better on my application to nursing school. And will be the kind of job that is done at the end of the day. No more taking work home to do at night or on weekends and no more going in on my day off.

I think I've decided that it's much better to work at a job that pays more money and therefore you have more money to give to charity than it is to work for a non-profit. Not that it's always about the money--if it was I would have never gone into non-profit in the first place. But, there's something about this sector that really turns you off. I don't know if it's the fact that office politics are the same as in the corporate world...or there are too many people who get promoted to positions for which they're not qualified b/c it would cost more money to bring in an outside person who will demand a higher salary...or if it's that you work your ass off and there's never a bonus, you don't get more days off and you get a minuscule raise (if you get a raise at all). Non-profit sucks the life out of you and for what?

I'm tired of this "for the good of the community" bullshit. I'm at a point in my life where I want to do something I love instead of taking a job b/c I'm desperate for work. I want to make what I'm worth. I want a job that when the day is done, I don't take it home with me. I might think about it after I leave but I don't take actual, physical work home. I want a job that makes a difference in the lives of others but I want to be the direct service provider instead of the one who helps raise money so the provider can serve the agency's clients. I want a job where the upper-level management doesn't talk out of both sides of their mouths (like that one is going to happen) telling you how wonderful you are one minute and trashing you the second you've left the room.

I'm going to look for that job when I'm out of nursing school and I hope I find it. And on June 1st? I'm going to leave all this shit behind me.

At a crossroads....again.

Hmm...I think I may be too tired to write this post so instead I leave you with this. Happy Taxes!

Meme-ariffic!

If Michael had a blog I would have tapped him for a meme but he doesn't so, like the meme he did on me, I'm going to do one on him. So, here are 6 weird things about my husband, the Tall Man:

• His total willingness to talk to strangers in public/make faces at children who are in line ahead of us at the grocery store. I really don't understand this one.

• Male Pattern Blindess. Need I say more?
  

• He almost never puts salt on his food or uses it when cooking. In fact, when we first met, he didn't have a salt and pepper shaker. If he needed salt or pepper, he'd go get the big Morton's salt canister or the McCormick's pepper tin out of the pantry. Nothing like salting your food with the pour spout in a canister of salt.

• Total lack of understanding about why you can't wear a brown belt with black shoes. Or wearing a tan shirt with tan pants (desert fatigues anyone?). Or pleated pants. I hate pleated pants. In fact, our very first fight was about pleated pants.
  

• Even when he's cold, he won't put on a long sleeve shirt. He'll just be cold.
  

• Total aversion to body products that aren't toothpaste, deoderant, Pert Plus and Irish Spring. God forbid he have to use a bar of Olay soap in the shower. Or (gasp) use conditioner. Conditioner! Perish the thought!
  

Six weird things about, my wife, the Fummer.
(Guest blogged by The Tall Man)

1) Her freakish sense of smell. (Accompanied by many conversations like "Do you smell that?" "Smell what?" "I can't believe you can't smell that!"

2) The oft repeated dance of "Something's touching me!" followed by an intense search for the culpable wisp of dog fur, her hair or a loose thread. The compulsion is so strong that it could not even be contained on our first date.

3) Any joke containing the magic words "poo", "ass" or "fart" in the punch line is implicitly hilarious. Bonus points if it includes all three.

4) A breathtaking ability to swing from a great mood to full wrath and back in five seconds.

5) Her desire to rush over to any dog and befriend it, compared to her complete ambivalence to children.

6) Despite needing to hold my hand and repeat "Orcs eating doughnuts... orcs eating doughnuts" when we actively watch the movies, she will turn on the Lord of Rings movies for background noise while studying.

Detox Diet - Day 1, or why the hell am I doing this to myself?

So, my anatomy professor has mentioned detoxifying diets a few times in class and so...well, I decided I'd like to do a little experiment and try one out. Except there's way too many diets from which to choose so I put together something that's a little bit of a couple of different diets. And because I'm the one who cooks (and grocery shops) in our house, my wonderful husband gets to try this fun experiment with me (love you, honey).

So, basically we're doing 7 days of all veg, no dairy, no processed foods (except canned tomatoes and beans), no sugar and no caffeine. Really, I just want to see if I feel any different after this is over. I'm not sure I'm really detoxifying anything since I'm not doing any of the weird shit the books tell you to do like drinking room-temperature water with half a lemon squeezed into it. Not that lemon water is all that weird but I HATE lemon water with a passion. Nasty stuff. And room temperature? What's with that? But, one of the books recommends having a clinician inject you with pregnancy hormones. WTF? Anyway, I'm not drinking any weird concoctions or juicing my own veg...I'm just taking a break from processed foods, dairy and caffeine. The caffeine headache has been the worst part but there's only 6 more days to go!

Procrastination...

Back when I was in undergrad my procrastination activities included the following: watching syndicated reruns of Fr@sier and the Simps0n's, playing Sn00d, reading H@rry P0tter books, calling BANG! long-distance in London and/or taking a nap. Now, it looks more like this: reading blogs, maybe updating my own blog, cooking dinner, cleaning house, walking the dog, taking a nap (this really only happens when I'm sick, like today), doing laundry and/or running errands. Seriously, procrastination was much more fun when I was in undergrad.

Not that I should complain. My fabulous husband makes it possible for me to work part time while taking classes (alas paid for by the very tricksy tuition remission benefit) but procrastination when I need to be studying or writing a paper just isn't as enjoyable as it used to be. Especially when I'm an adult now with a house to look after. And, seriously? How do women with kids do this? How do they raise a family, look after a household and work? And what about the ones who do all that AND go to school? I am so in awe of the women who do that. Because you know what? I don't think I have that in me.

That being said, I guess I better get back to my schoolwork.

Happy Anniversary!

March 7, 2006 was the day we brought Asia home from the Humane Society and into our lives. And now one year (plus a few days...I swear I meant to post this on the 7th) later here we are. It's been a long year of contractors tramping thru the house and making lots of racket while she tried to sleep, monthly visits to the vet for cortisone injections, a very expensive visit to the doggy dermatologist for allergy testing and thrice-weekly allergy injections, her first X-mas with us, trips to Lankytown and a very scary bout with heartworms (still not in the clear yet but she's almost there!) but it has been a wonderful year of her sweet doggy self in our lives. And I just wanted to share our joy with the internets because nothing is as wonderful as coming home to find her waiting at the door.

Holding my breath and crossing my fingers...

But no jinxes.

Feeling homesick...

Homesickness for something - a place, a time, I don't know - is rapidly becoming a theme here. I'll be brief this time and just note that 2nd Annual Fun Girl Weekend was a blast and just like last year I came home and promptly dissolved into tears (read bawling) over missing my friends, wanting my mom and dad (seriously, who does that? I'm too old to want my mom and dad anymore. What the hell is wrong with me?), apologizing to my husband for being short with him on the phone (I'm telling you he's a saint for putting up with me) and wanting the dog (the one who lives in a little wooden box on our shelf). Pathetic. Oh, and creating a rather magnificent pile of soggy snot wads on our sofa. Nice.

But today I feel better. I got a total of 12 hours of sleep (not all at once, mind you), played some tennis, walked the dog, made dinner (breakfast - yummy) and surfed the net. And now I'm going to go forage for a snack and then collapse into bed.

Snow Day!

I finally got the snow day I've been whining about since December. We have about 6 inches of snow with some sleet mixed in. My mom has about a foot so far...not sure how much more we'll get. They're predicting another inch or two before morning. Unfortunately our snow day has been ruined by the fact that I have to write a 5 page essay for psych. and Michael is working on a conference paper. But, we get to do so in the cozy comfort of our tv room whilst (see, there it is again) sitting on the couch with our feet propped up and sipping hot tea.

All I have to say is thank god for our snow blower. Even tho we don't have that much snow, if you've ever seen our driveway you know what I'm talking about. We're heading back out in a few minutes to do some shoveling and walk the dog. Hope the rest of you get a snow day tomorrow!

Nothing Exciting...

Yep, that's us. Nothing exciting to report. Not that this is a bad thing, mind you, but it doesn't make for entertaining blogging. So, Asia is doing well. She's two weeks into the 4 week must-stay-calm-at-all-times post-treatment phase and continues to do well. Little brat found some cat poo today while out on a walk, tho. And when I say found, that means found and promptly gobbled it up before Michael could get her away from it. Brat. Did I mention that this dog really, really like prunes? Prunes. She won't eat peanut butter (tell me what dog doesn't eat peanut butter) but she LOVES prunes. She can't get enough of them. The good thing is that I found a cheaper alternative to the smelly wet fish food crap she normally gets to eat whilst I sneak up on her to give her an allergy shot.

You know, I think 'whilst' is a good word. Whilst. Whilst. Whilst. Whilllllsssssttttttt. It just trips right of the tongue.

Anyway, other than dog stuff, Michael had an interview last week and has another one at the end of the month. Hopefully he'll get a job offer from either place (preferably the one in NY) and then we'll know where we're moving and when and all that stuff. But, no more about that...I don't want to jinx him (yes, I sort of believe that I could. I know it's stupid).

Blarg. Being an adult really sucks sometimes. There's bills to pay, taxes to do, a home to do lots of expensive aesthetic things to, jobs to find, jobs to struggle through until your husband finds a job in another city...blarg, blarg, blarg. And being grown up enough to have the kind of conversations with your parents that make you realize that they're people too and not just your parents. And finding out that your parents probably never really loved each other in the first place is hard. Very, very hard. Everyone wants to think that her/his parents love(d) each other, at least a little. And knowing that you can never go home again to the home of your childhood when you didn't have the awareness that your parents' marriage wasn't so different from that of your friends' parents' marriages...is just hard. There is no "home" to go home to anymore. Just goes to show that you never really outgrow the desire to go home to parents who love you and still love each other. Even when you know it'll never happen you can't help yourself from thinking about it. And, yes, there's my home with my wonderful husband and our dog but sometimes...I just want to go "home."

Confession...

I have an embarrassing confession to make. Michael and I were cleaning out a closet and were attempting to file away old utility statements and receipts. And then...I found a bag that had a stack of H@llmark cards inside....cards I had purchased for friends and family that were unsent. Oops. I found birthday cards, sympathy cards, congratulations cards--you name it, I found it. So, for all of those life events that warranted a specially chosen card from the local H@llmark store, I bought a card and then put it in a bag in a closet.

Now, you may be wondering how this happens. It all started when I found myself in a situation where I needed to clean up the clutter in the house very quickly. And the next thing you know, I'm running around the house with a bag and throwing all the paper bits I can find into it and then shoving it into a closet. And...it's happened more than once.

So....oops. And many apologies. I will be sending said cards (albeit belatedly) this week. So, now you know. Anyway, if any of you randomly receive a card in the mail, you'll know why it's late.

Asia Update: Our baby is home and doing well. Thanks for thinking of us and we'll let you know when she gets a clean bill of health in four weeks when she goes in for her check up and blood test.

It's the 14th day of the new year...

And we've already gotten bad news. Seriously, WTF?!?!

So the news? Asia has heartworms. HEARTWORMS. As in, the worms that live in the heart of your dog and then she dies. Fuck.

Here's what happened: Asia had her yearly exam and shots last week and then we got a call on Friday from the vet asking us to call him back (you know that means bad news). So, her heartworm test came back positive and then they ran it again to be sure and the second test came back positive, too. There is a latentcy period for HW of about 6 months so she was infected when she went to the humane league even tho she tested negative at this time last year when her last owners put her up for adoption. And since she tested negative at the humane league the vet didn't test her again until last Tuesday.

The really bad news is that if she goes untreated the HW will kill her by giving her congestive heart failure. This, of course, is absolutely not an option.

The good news is that there is a treatment but the bad news is that the result of the treatment could still kill her. There is a new HW treatment that is very successful (the old treatment includes arsenic and often killed the pets that were being treated) but what happens is that when the worms die, they have to go somewhere: the lungs. Eventually, the body absorbs the dead worm bodies but the problem is that when a whole bunch of them die, the dog could have a reaction. In Asia's case, the scary part is that she's very allergy sensitive and the vet is worried that when the dead worm bodies go into the lungs that she'll go into anaphylactic shock.

So......needless to say, Michael and I are still in shock and are concerned about losing our baby. But we are trying to stay positive. The good thing is that she's been on heartworm pills since we brought her home so hopefully that's killed any of the larvae and hopefully her heart isn't chock full of worms that will put her into anaphylactic shock. The other good thing is that the vet said she's very healthy otherwise and he's never detected a heart murmur on her.

So, right now, the medication is on order and Asia goes into the vet on the 23rd for a 4-day hospital stay while the medication is administered and she's closely monitored for any reactions. Hopefully all will go well and we can bring her home on Friday. Once we get her home, she'll be confined to the house for a month other than to go out and go to the bathroom. This is to prevent an embolism caused by a big clump of dead worms. I can't even begin to think about how we're going to keep her calm if she sees a cat while we're out for a quick pee.

Anyway, that's the news from here. Keep your fingers crossed for us and I'll keep you posted.

Everyone else is doing it...

1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before? Went to Cali-forn-eeyahhhh. Put a beloved pet to sleep.

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Blarg. I always seem to make them but rarely make it past February (except for the one about flossing but I've since stopped doing that - I know, gross, but now that I have braces, I can't bring myself to floss very often).

I have made two for this year: not talk on my cell phone while driving (unless in an emergency situation) and have more sex with my wonderful husband (hi, Honey!). Sadly, I've already broken the first one twice.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Nope, but they will this year! Whee!

4. Did anyone close to you die? Shana. And as the anniversary of her passing approaches it becomes harder and harder to keep from tearing up at the mere thought of her. What a great dog she was...it's just not the same without her.

5. What countries did you visit? At the rate I'm going, I'll never see a country other than the U.S. of A. Boo.

6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006? I have to concur with Gwen that I, too, would like more time for everything. More reading of good books. More quality time with my husband. Oh, and more naps. Naps are a very good thing.

7. What dates from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Again, the day our dog was put to sleep (wow, I sound like a broken record).

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I'd like to say that I did something really important that benefitted the whole of humankind but alas all can say is that Michael and I had a wonderful first year of marriage and I haven't managed to scare him off. Yet.

9. What was your biggest failure? Letting my stupid job and stupid boss take over my life and not doing a better job of managing stress.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Thankfully, no:> Unless you count all the ambush atomic wedgie attacks, etc. on Michael that ALWAYS result in my getting hurt. Always.

BTW, I did find out that I don't have athlete's foot.

11. What was the best thing you bought? A fabulous new tennis racquet.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My husband. The man is a saint.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Where to begin?

14. Where did most of your money go? The money pit at 267 P@rk Drive. Monthly steroid injections for Asia and 2 visits to the doggie dermatologist. And my mouth full of metal.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? My honeymoon. Tennis. A new dog. Quitting my job (but then staying on part time when my boss resigned). Making my plan to go to nursing school.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? both, sometimes
b) thinner or fatter? both and then I went all veg and lost a few pounds
c) richer or poorer? definitely poorer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Spending time with the most important people (and dogs) in my life.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Being stressed out and worried about my job.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? Spent it with my family and Michael's. Had a great time on a post-X-mas trip to Lanky-town.

23. What was your favorite TV program? Family Guy and the Simpson's. Good Eats during that brief interlude where we had cable tv.

25. What was the best book you read? The Lovely Bones. I could NOT put it down. And The Handmaid's Tale even though it still creeps me out just thinking about it.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery? Hmmm...I didn't really have one.

27. What did you want and get? A new dog. A wonderful new half bathroom and a fabulously improved existing bathroom. A creamer and sugar serving set that matches my fiestaware.

28. What did you want and not get? Tenure for my husband. A hundred more years with my best girl. Less dysfunctional family crap.

29. What was your favorite film of this year? Little Miss Sunshine. But I have to say that This is Spinal Tap is a very close runner up.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 29, and I don't remember what I did. How sad.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Besides all the other stuff that's already mentioned--winning the lottery.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006? Clean clothes that aren't wrinkled?

33. What kept you sane? My favorite people in the whole wide world (you know who you are).

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Harrison Ford will always have the numero uno celebrity spot.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006. No comment.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. Beans, beans the magical fruit...

I GOT A B!

A B in my stats class! BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not the efe menos I was desperately fearing (maybe desperately is too strong a word here but still) but a B!!!!!!

And it's all thanks to that wonderful husband of mine. Love you!

Good news for Ohio!!!

This is so freaking awesome for those of us stuck in, I mean, who live in, Ohio. Good news (for the most part) all around. Keep your fingers crossed for the race between Dr. Vic Wulsin and that crazy bee-och (whose name I can barely force myself to type here) Je@n Schm!dt.

Resignation

Well, there you have it. And I am breaking my "no-blogging-at-work" rule. Because, hey, it's 8:15 on a Saturday morning and here I sit since 7:30 doing work so nanny-nanny-boo-boo.

Anyway, I turned in my resignation on Wednesday and let's just say the rest of this week hasn't been so great. I didn't expect to feel so emotional about it. I didn't expect to feel this sad. I didn't expect that I would second-guess myself and my career goals. And, yet, here I am feeling all of those things. I've been so excited about this since I made the decision that I want to go to nursing school and have felt so sure all this time. And now I find myself thinking "Is this the right thing to do? What if I suck at it? What if we go broke in the process? What the HELL have I just done?!?!" So, this moment that I thought would be so satisfying and wonderful...feels anything but.

No more making fun...

Of fantasy football. Long have I openly mocked fantasy football and now...I must stop. Well, at least for a little while.

See, Michael is the "Commissioner" of his very own FF league and I have been mercilous in my disdain for it. Until last night. I was stuck at the office on a Saturday afternoon desperately trying to format an excel sheet for a meeting on Monday morning and it looked like it was going to take hours upon hours to get through. So I called Michael and asked him to meet me at my office and see if he could help me out with my spreadsheet and he came and worked a little magic and , voila!, saved me hours of work with just a few key strokes. That husband of mine is brilliant, I tell you.

Later on in the evening when I am singing Michael's praises for saving me hours and hours of work he tells me "You know that function I used? I learned how to do it when I put together the draft pick program for fantasy football." Stunned silence ensued followed by me yelling about how upset I am that I can never make fun of FF again because it totally saved my ass! Now what will I have to make fun of? #$)(%$*%^)$(%&_)%$(%^_!!!!!

Oh, the irony! The irony!

Brace Face

Well, here I am...staring down my 29th birthday...and instead I feel like I'm just prolonging my teenage years because I chose NOW to get braces. What the hell was I thinking? I had them tightened for the first time 2 weeks ago and it seems that the remaining year and a half of treatment is going to take FOREVER. For. Ever.

And they're so inconvenient. Yeah, I know that this is going to be so worth it when I'm done but in the meantime, what a pain in the ass. Or, rather, pain in the mouth. So, I've pretty much given up on eating salad because I have to cut it up in teeny little bits and then it gets stuck in my braces. And I'm not even about to touch pesto unless I am eating it in the privacy of my own home. Alone. Everything I eat gets stuck somewhere in my braces. And I think I might have to cut up all my food for the rest of my life. I can't eat anything by just biting into it--no, I have to have a fork and freaking knife at every meal. Well, except breakfast but only if I eat oatmeal. It isn't so bad that I have to cut up my oatmeal.

Even still, I am compusively checking my teeth for food bits and/or running to the bathroom to brush all day long. I probably only work 7 hours out of 8-9 a day because I spend so much time in the bathroom with my toothbrush. I know I shouldn't complain but these things are a pain! I feel like a giant dork all the time and I can tell when people are trying to decide if, yes, that woman is wearing braces. Yes! Yes I am, dammit! Now stop staring at me!

Life Recap Part 2

Let's see...where were we when I last posted...? Anyway, Michael and I took our long-awaited honeymoon (okay, it was only 6 months post-wedding) to CA and had a great time. Someday we'll upload the photos and I'll be sure to post a link. We had a great time and my only complaint is that we couldn't stay longer than a week. Before we left we started a list of other things we want to see next time we're in CA and hopefully that will be sometime in the near future.

Did I mention I just got my very own laptop? I am using it right now and I LOVE it! It's my very first laptop and you cannot imagine how excited I am! Whee!

But I digress. So, what else have I been up to? Well, we took a short trip to Lanky-town for July 4th weekend. We got to see BANG! and Joel and see the fireworks at L0ng's Park. I still cannot believe that they played the 1812 Overture and did the cannons BEFORE the fireworks. That was part of the reason for coming the Lancaster!!!!! There are fireworks in Dayton, folks. No need to drive 8.5 hours to go see them in another state. Anyway, we got to see Gwen, too, and Mrs. P. and we got to show off Asia. Isn't she pretty? Thanks to BANG for taking such awesome shots of my new baby!

And, other than that, this summer has been spent working way too damned much and finally making the decision to go to nursing school. It took me a while to get there but now that I've made my decision and I've already started the process by taking one prereq. this fall, I feel much better about things. I like knowing that I only have to be at this job for a few more months before I can start working toward my new goal. It is a shame that this job that I was so excited to take has been such an abysmal and heartbreaking experience. But, the silver lining to all of this is that it forced me to think about what I want to do next and I know that was a good thing. And this going back to school thing? God, it makes me feel old. The class I'm in now is all freshman except me. I was hoping there would be some older students there who were in the MBA program or something but not so much. It's just me and 40 students who are 10 years my junior. Weird.

So that's about all there is to share at the moment. I'm counting down the days until I can quit this job and hoping to see all of you at Thanksgiving (I think we're coming to Lanky-town but haven't figured out the logistics yet). 3 months and 19 days to go!

Life Recap...

So, I realize it has been ages since I wrote a decent entry and I'm sorry I suck.

Now that that's out of the way, let's begin:

• Bathroom remodeling insanity is all but over. Our contractor is coming over to install the kickplate/register cover thingy and we're still waiting on the shelves we ordered for the bathtub to come in so the tile guys can install them and then seal all the tile. I will post a picture as soon as I upload them to the computer. At least we don't make the final payment to the contractor until everything is finished and we are happy with the final product. I say we should drag this out as long as possible! Just kidding. I am just tired of people being in my house and making a big mess everywhere.
• Work sucks ass. Seriously. But some things are getting better while this whole fundraising event that is planned for next week is dragging me into the 9th level of hell. Why don't people bother to send back RSVPs anymore? Is it that fucking hard? You say "Yes, I'm coming" and write a check or your credit card number on the card or you say "No, I am unable to attend." And, you know what? You don't even have to write anything! You check a little box! And then you slide the card into the envelope and you stick a stamp on it and mail it! Why is this so hard?!?! I swear I'm getting more gray hair by the day. I have 100 RSVPs and the event is 10 days away! I need to see 175 to 200 RSVPs for this event. I hate everyone. Blarg. I HATE, HATE, HATE events planning! HATE IT! I want to kill myself it's that horrible.
• Okay, the good news is that I'm making some real headway on the whole grad school thing and I'm leaning toward nursing school. I haven't made any decisions yet but I plan to do some more research after I'm done with this godforsaken event! Stay tuned for updates.
• Let's see...well, Asia is doing really well. She's been living with us for 2 months now and has lost about 6-7 lbs and a TON of fur. All I can say is thank goodness we bought a Dys0n. Asia's definitely a different dog now than when we brought her home. She has shown more interest in play, enjoys getting us up before the alarm goes off at 6 am and tries to eat birds. Okay, she only tried to eat a bird once and that was today. And she almost got to eat it but somehow Michael got her to drop it. Anyway, she's very sweet and has learned to sit, stay and come. She isn't always consistent about it but I know she knows what those commands mean. Even though not a day goes by that I don't miss Shana, Asia has been a wonderful addition to our family and I can't imagine life without her.
• What else? Michael and I have been married for 6 months and we couldn't be happier. With each other, that is. I wouldn't mind winning the lottery and quitting my job but that's a topic for another time.

So, that's pretty much it. It's not very exciting but that's all I've got for the moment. I promise to post "after" pictures of the bathroom and in a couple of weeks I'll have pictures from our honeymoon (finally, a real honeymoon!) in C@lifornia. Stay tuned!

The bad blogger...

Yep. That's me. And I'm not even going to apologize for it. Why? Because it's already past my bedtime and I need to get up at 6 am. I *promise* to post something this weekend. Hopefully there will be pictures of the finished bathroom renovation from hell to share with you. Whee!

Feeling conflicted...

So, here I am, about to do some work from home and instead I'll blog about how conflicted I feel about my employer. Said employer shall remain nameless as I cannot afford to be "dooced" what with $18,000 in a home equity line of credit hanging over our heads.

My problem is that I work for an organization that is uber-feminist and is all about helping people make good decisions about their sexual health and whether and when to bring children into this world. In practice, my particular agency is the exact opposite. We do help the people we serve in the ways I mentioned above, but the company treats those of us who work there like shit. SHIT. Seriously. I think the fact that I wanted this job so badly makes it feel so much worse that we're treated with so little respect.

So, yeah, I realize that the world of work is hard and there isn't a single company out there that doesn't suffer from at least one of the following: assholes, bureaucracy, lack of leadership, lack of communitcation, etc. My agency happens to suffer from all of the above. And I'm not in a position to quit my job and take another. For one thing, I couldn't leave before executing the special events that are planned for the next couple of months. And I know my work is important. I like my job and hate the people who run the company. The job market here is total crap. For anyone following the news about Gm and Delph!, both of those companies have plants here and have already done massive lay-offs. I know autoworkers will hardly be competing for the same type of jobs I might look for but still.... But this job is taking a toll on my health and my well-being and affects my relationships with those around me. It's really unfortunate. To make matters worse, my agency is needed by the American public now more than ever. As the states continue to introduce and pass legislation infringing on a woman's right to privacy, the work we do become all the more important.

So what to do? The bright spot in all of this is that we're about to get a new executive director. The current one is retiring and I've been hearing some good things about the final candidates. I don't want to have to leave this job but if things don't get better soon, I'll have to start looking. Is it too much to ask for a job you enjoy with leadership you can trust and provides good health insurance benefits?

This is the "after" picture. For the next two weeks, we will be showering at the gym or at my in-laws' house.

I realized that I did not take pictures of the finished product. I'll post one soon.

In the meantime, here is a "before" picture of our existing bathroom. The one and only place to bathe ourselves.

It looks like a bathroom...except, um, without the fixtures.

About a third of the way there!

Stupid fcking blogger....

5 and a half days without a bathtub or shower...

As promised, here are some pictures of the bathroom renovations:

This is the "before" pitcure of the half bath we installed. And by we, I mean our contractors. We're very happy with them:>

The Internets...

Never fail to surprise me. I found this the other day. Now, let me tell you how I found this (and it was totally by accident).

Michael and I were looking online for a corner medicine cabinet that had a built-in light. And I'm on the L0wesDep0t website and and the link to their bidet selection caught my eye. Don't ask me why, but it did. So I thought I would check it out. The only house I've ever been in that had one is...well, I'm sure you know whose house had the bidet. Anyway, since bidets aren't all that common - at least not in the places where I hang out on a regular basis - I decided to do a web search of bidets. And the first link I found was, well, the Poop Report. And, hell, it's just fun to say "Poop Report." Hee. I said poop. Check it out--I think you'll like it.

Breakin' the law...

Well, not really but I haven't been blogging while at work because big brother, I mean my employer, is watching. But today I say fuck it. I will be brief, however, because I really do need to do work while at work.

Thanks to all of you for your kind words and support as we go through the grieving process. You know, it's odd....I've identified myself as a crazy dog lady for so long now and I feel like I've lost that part of myself when Shana died. I mean, mentally I'm still a crazy dog lady but in actuality I'm not anymore. That's hard. Admittedly I've been lurking here. We're not ready yet for another dog but maybe we will be in a couple of months.

Other than that, they've started construction on our soon-to-be half bath on the first floor. They've already torn out the stairs and tile and today the plumber is coming to do whatever it is he needs to do. Probably something gross like installing the pipe for the toilet. I'll post some pictures shortly. Until then...

To My Sweet Baby Girl:

I remember the day I brought you home from the Humane League as a 3-month-old puppy and every time you sat down on the carpet I made you stand up because I couldn't tell if you were about to pee on the floor or just sitting.

I remember coming home from Thanksgiving at the G House to find that you had stolen the remnants of our turkey and to this day I still wonder how you were able to reach it.

I remember worrying that you wouldn't graduate from obedience school because you hated going through the obstacle course.

I remember how much you liked to chase squirrels in the backyard and would always get your lead tangled up in the bushes.

I remember sharing my bed with you and falling asleep with my arm around you with my face burried in your fur.

I remember how you loved to go for walks--especially at L's Park because you liked to mooch the bread we had brought to feed the ducks.

I remember how you liked to chase the cats that lived at the vet's office.

I remember how much I loved to come home from work to find you waiting at the door for me.

I remember how much you loved treats and that time you almost took the vet's fingers off in your effort to take the treat he offered you.

I remember every single time I had to call the animal poison control line and/or go to the emergency vet because you ate something you shouldn't have.

I remember how you were always there for me through all the good and bad times.

I remember that you stayed by my side the entire week I slept on the couch after my sinus surgery.

I remember what a good girl you were and all the joy you brought into my life in the last 10 and a half years. Having you in my life has been one of the most rewarding, difficult, fun, wonderful and amazing things I've ever experienced. You will be dearly missed.

Weddings bring out the *inappropriate* in people...

Seriously. People call (however nicely) to ask if they can bring their kid to your No Ankle Biters Allowed wedding and reception; to ask if they are invited (WTF?!?!) and to jump your shit because they think you made an insulting comment about the U.S. Sostal Pervice. I realize that there are other couples out there who have endured far worse, but, seriously, what is wrong with people?

I just keep thinking that we should have eloped.

A word to the wise...

Never turn your back to a fire dancer.

Going to the Chapel...

And I'm going to be a vegetarian. Except those are two totally different topics for discussion. Let's deal with the vegetarian thing for now.

So...I'm really not sure what it was exactly that made me say "Hey! I want to try a vegetarian diet!" but it had a little bit to do with this crazy PETA ad I saw about J Cru. Yes, I think the PETA people are a bunch of crazies but that's neither here nor there. Anyway, I got to thinking about this article in Wesneek from a few months back that really disturbed me. It was about how they force feed ducks before turning them (or, rather, their little livers) into foi gras. And I couldn't read the article but ever since I keep thinking about these ducks. And then I start thinking about the cows and the pigs and the chickens and I KNOW they're treated inhumanely from the moment their born until the moment they are turned into a hamburger or bacon.

But I'm also thinking about the environmental impact of raising the feed for these animals and the amount of water required to feed and raise them and the nasty manure run-off that ends up in streams. So, now I'm thinking I'll try a vegetarian diet and we'll see how it works out. I guess that was about 2 weeks ago and I've had chicken twice plus a turkey sandwich with bacon. Oh, and I had a cheeseburger somewhere in there. Man, this is not easy. And, I LOVE bacon. LOVE IT.

So, here I am, still working on this whole vegetarian thing and I even bought a book on how to do it in a healthy way. And that's what I have to say about that. We'll see how it works out.

The HHS class of '95 reunion recap!

I can't believe it's been 10 years...

Well, it wasn't a wasted weekend but it wasn't what I was looking for, either. I really thought more people would be there and it would have been more fun. Unfortunately, it was reminiscent of prom with bad food and the popular kids on the dance floor. Oh, and some people were losing their hair (hee!). And then some people looked exactly the same as they did 10 years ago. I'm not sure which was more weird, that some people definitely looked different and it took a moment to figure out who they were or that some people looked EXACTLY the same as they did 10 years ago. Or that JV looks just like his dad. Scary.

So, not much of a recap but I got to spend the evening with two of my favorite people (we should have gone to Friendly's afterwards), I saw my dad and my "second" parents (including Mrs. P.). Not bad for the fastest trip to Lanky-town I've ever made.

Michael doesn't speak German...

Not that this is a problem, but my grandma thinks it is. We're at the fabulous shower Angie and Amanda planned in my honor and my grandma is sitting next to me as I open gifts. Michael's oldest sister is there and she has given us a coffee carafe and some German coffee. Here's how the conversation goes:

Kelly (holding up carafe and coffee): Thank you!

Grandma: Does Michael speak German?

Kelly: No.

Grandma: How will you know how to make the coffee if the package is in German?

Kelly: Grandma, it's coffee. I'm sure we'll figure it out.

Grandma: But maybe you won't. It's in German. How will you know if you've made it right?

Kelly: (just keep smiling...opens next present) I'm sure we'll figure it out.

...sigh...Anyway, I had a wonderful time and it was so good to see some of my very favorite people. I had a fabulous bow hat that some of you will be seeing at the end of the month. All it needs is a baby chick in a nest and it will be good to go:> Here is a link to Angie's blog so you can see pics from the shower. Fabulous bow hat--wheee!

You can pick your nose...

And you can pick your friends. I don't actually recommend that you pick your friends' noses but that's not really the point. What you can't do is pick your family and sometimes that's a bad thing. But...this time it was a good thing.

I almost wish I could clone myself...

So I could have been at the beach, at home with the dog and on vacation with Michael all at the same time. And maybe my cloned selves would have such a wonderful time as to make up for the fact that I had to share a hotel room with my boss during the 4-day conference we attended. I won't give specifics here but let me just caution you: NEVER, and I mean never, share a hotel room with your boss. Trust me on this.

It's stupid hot outside....

It's 95 degrees outside and feels like 112. The low tonight is supposed to be 79.

Thank goodness for air conditioning!

Why Rick Santorum is a total fucking idiot...

I thought you might enjoy some quotes from this dipshit's new book:

"This was tried once before in America...but unlike abortion today, in most states even the slaveholder did not have the unlimited right to kill his slave."; "Respect for stay-at-home mothers has been poisoned by a toxic combination of the village elders' war on the traditional family and radical feminism's misogynistic crusade to make working outside the home the only marker of social value and self-respect."; and on welfare reform: "The notion that college education is a cost-effective way to help poor, low-skill unmarried mothers with high school diplomas or GEDs move up the economic ladder is just wrong."

Is this guy for real?!?!?

The countdown begins....

25 hrs. and 44 minutes

The good, the bad and the ugly....

The good news is that we FINALLY finished painting one room in our house. And it looks great!

The bad news is that we saw "Return of the Sith" and it was terrible. Except for Ew@n McGreg0r--he was the only redeeming factor out of 2+ hours of my life that I'll never see again.

The ugly news, of course, is Justice O'Connor's resignation from the Supreme Court. What are we going to do if He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named nominates another judge like that self-serving buttwipe Sc@lia?

On the side of the road...

I saw a sign bearing this message:

God rained down fire and brimstone once. He will do it again.

Who are the people who believe this crap (yes, I think it's crap) and why can't they keep it to themselves?!?!

In other news, the "YMCA Jesus" statue now has fountains installed in its pond. Seriously, what are these people going to think of next? Doesn't it just make you want to take a trip to Ohio so you can see this stuff?

I should be doing work right now...

but I haven't published any entries in a while. I've got a few half-written ones that I might get around to finishing someday.

So, I realize I have been a little out of touch these days and many apologies for that, especially to BANG! b/c we keep playing phone tag. It's just that by the time I get some work done on the house, I'm too tired to do much more than eat dinner, take a shower and go to bed. But. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. We put up the primer over the weekend and will progress to actual PAINT! Yes, PAINT! Ahem, we're going to put up paint this week and over the holiday weekend. Woo! Someday we will once again be able to sit in our living room on the sofas that are currently squished together in the middle of the room and covered with plastic sheeting and power tools. Part of me wants to say "Fck it! Let's just put up primer and be done." But in the long run that wouldn't be a very good option. Especially since you can see white bits on the ceiling where we didn't use enough primer.

Well, enough complaining. We'll be done soon enough and then we'll have fabulous houseguests to enjoy our pain and suffering, I mean hard work. Can't wait for you to get here!

What was I thinking?

Michael and I just spent more than one week's worth of my salary on paint and primer for our house. We are going to spend the whole summer painting...ugh...what was I thinking?

Just promise me that when you come to visit you'll "ooh" and "ahhh" over it so I can feel better about spending an entire summer painting.

Back to normal...I hope

The last week and a half has been a bit crazy and even nightmarish at times, and I hope things are starting to look up. My car got a massive flat tire, Shana was sick and puked all over my house, work has been a little crazy, Shana was still sick and had to go to the emergency vet, I still have a bad case of Athlete's Foot and some @sshole stole $35 worth of flowers off my front porch. But, my car has a band new tire at the grand price of one dollar, Shana is much better now that we know about this, and it's Friday. I still have Athlete's Foot and work is still a little crazy but the weekend is almost here and I can spend those 2 days off sanding and priming my living room and dining room.

But for now I should get back to work. Less than 8 hours to go....

I met the Devil at church

Seriously. And she wears her hair in Laura Ingalls-type braids.

Michael and I went to a wedding on Saturday night that was part of the church's regularly scheduled mass. Behind us were two women with whom Michael went to high school. After the ceremony/mass was over, he turned around to introduce me. After catching up with Michael has been up to over the last few years, the conversation turned to the braided one who announced that she works at this evil place. This place tells women that abortion causes lung disease. Lung disease? Seriously? That's the best they can do? Anyway, it turns out that the Devil (as I've started calling her) was born into a devout Catholic family (I guess it's no surprise that she works there but there are plenty of practicing Catholics out there that wouldn't dream of working at a place like this) but I can't shake the feeling that I should have said something. But what? Besides that I think she's the devil. That the organization for which she works preys on young, potentially pregnant women who are scared and not sure where to turn for advice. An organization founded on medical MISinformation, that uses scare tactics and assigns guilt to sexually active women and men.

But I didn't know what to say or if I should say anything at all. And here I am, 3 days later and still thinking about the lost opportunity to say that her work SCARES women into making uniformed decisions. Abortion isn't the right choice for all women with unwanted pregnancies, but then, neither is childbirth and caring for an infant when you aren't even old enough to vote. No organization should be telling women that abortion causes liver disease or that she's 800% more likely to develop cancer if she has an abortion because neither of these so called "facts" are true. No organization should coerce a woman into making a decision she isn't ready to make.

The opportunity to say something has passed but I know the work we're doing helps women and their partners make informed decisions about whether and when to bring a child into this world.

Excited about...poop

That's me. Excited about poop. Shana's poop to be specific. She finally went after a whole week of not going and, dammit, I'm proud of her. Poor little peg leg dog. She got her cast off today and the vet says she's doing great. I just feel so bad for her. She has no idea what happened to her, and since she's a dog and is not capable of cognitive thought, there is no way for me to explain it. But she's been such a trooper and really is doing well. She won't have her staples removed for another week yet, but so far so good. And here I am only one week into a 3 month recovery process that requires Michael and I carry her up and down the stairs in our house until said recovery period is over....sigh....the things I do for my dog. And she's totally worth it:>

Remember me?

I used to blog more frequently than this but that stupid "no blogging at work rule" and the insanity that is my work (at least until July 1st--beginning of the next fiscal year) has kept me from writing insightful and intelligent entries. (snort) Okay, maybe not insightful or intelligent, but I used to blog more than this! I have a few half-finished entries that I might someday post. BUT. Not until they are finished. Which might be never.

So, to recap what's been going on since sometime in March:

• Shanaynay is having her ACL operation on Friday and thus begins 4 months of the healing process. And that means 4 months of trying to keep my dog from running around the house like a maniac b/c she's bored and isn't allowed to play or take long walks.
• Amanda had a beautful wedding of which I'm so happy to have been a part.
• Our friends are seriously hot babes when we're all dressed up.
• The neo-con Christian crazies are fcking up our access to ALL reproductive health options.
• Special event planning is not my strong suit--how do people do this professionally?
• I am wearing flip flops to work for the rest of the week (hee!)
• Sarah Weddington is my hero!
• Isn't it July 16th yet?

No blogging at work rule...

So, I have this self-imposed no blogging/reading other people's blogs at work rule. This is pretty much why I haven't blogged or commented in about a month. So I guess it's catch up time now.

Except that I can't think of anything worthwhile to discuss right now. Ah! The pressure! (not to be confused with "Ah. The atmosphere. Ah.")

Harder than I thought....

My parents' divorce is final. I tried to write about this a number of times but I just can't seem to put to paper, or rather, blog, how that makes me feel.